Real Housewives of New Jersey
An Inconvenient Truce

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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The next day, Joe asks if Melissa is ready for her performance at the Manzo boys' party. She says all sorts of things that amount to, "I need to practice," though I'm not entirely sure she's aware that's what they all mean. Meanwhile, Teresa's lost bag finally arrives and is met by much squealing and jumping around. This, in turn, is met by sarcastic slow-clapping from Greg and annoyed grimaces from Caroline as she tries to enjoy her damn breakfast. Teresa says she thought the trip overall was amazing and thinks they should all do it again, then the editors Frankenbyte in "go without Kathy!" I don't doubt Teresa thinks this, but the editing is a bit blatant, no? At the other villa, the Wakiles and Gorgas toast to a good vacation and a (hopefully) uneventful return home. Kathy conflict aside, Melissa acknowledges that the trip has been a step in the right direction for Teresa and Joe. With that, everyone packs up and ships out with these words from Albert: "Being in hell without you people would be a fuckin' vacation." Never better put, my man.

Back home, the Manzo boys show Melissa the NYC venue where she'll be performing at their launch party. Melissa gives the club owner the third degree about everything from lights to mics and dressing room space. Albie takes it all in stride because he realizes his primary responsibility is to please the black water people and Melissa's performance is, frankly, irrelevant to that. Oh, but then! Melissa announces that Joe wants to get tigers for her performance. Tigers! Cue all sorts of skeptical looks.

That night, Melissa meets her choreographer and dancers at Broadway Dance Center. He keeps counting "A 5-6-7-and..." and, not unlike another Melissa, she keeps cutting him off before she has to do any actual dancing. Eventually, she runs through some moves and realizes she's not the hot shit she assumed she was. He tells her not to worry if she messes up but, "It's got to get better. It has to." Yikes.

The day of the launch party, Chris and Jacqueline talk about the Manzo boys' big moment to shine. Chris is, as always, measured, saying, "I'll be proud of them after the event. We'll see how they pull it off." Over at the club, the boys set up while Melissa does her sound check. She is very sheepish and hesitant about singing in front of the scattered group. She admits she feels like she can't get in the groove, which doesn't bode well for her performance that night. Her nerves rub off on Albie and, indeed, on Joe, who's spent the untold amounts of money to fund her little vanity project.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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