Real Housewives of New Jersey
A Very Jersey Christmas

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
It's Jesus's Birthday!

On the road to Kathy's, Joe gripes that Teresa was sniping at Kathy. Melissa wishes they all could have been together. They arrive and immediately feel more at home than at Teresa's, where Melissa says, "It was like we were among strangers." Melissa makes it clear to Kathy that she chose to eat at her house rather than Teresa's. For Italians, that's like the ultimate compliment/insult. Home is where the fork is. Melissa does says, however, that she hopes to get back to the place where spending holidays with Teresa's family is easy. Now I ask: Was it ever easy? From the entire narrative of the season so far, it sounds like they were at each other throats, in ways small and big, from day one. Then again, Melissa's been around a lot of hair spray in her day, so maybe her short-term memory's not that good. For all her fieriness, Kathy assures them that, if they'd wanted to stay at Teresa's, she would have respected that. Joe says he's put in the effort and shown up to the family gathering, now the ball is in Teresa's court.

With the food and the preliminary round of passive-aggressive trash-talking out of the way, talk turns to everyone's New Year's Eve plans. The biggest event in town is happening at The Brownstone, natch. Caroline hopes that Joe and Melissa are coming because she "can't get enough of" Joe because he reminds her of Christopher with his joie de vivre (or whatever the Italian equivalent is). Melissa mentions it to Kathy, who says her family doesn't have plans. Caroline admits to Jacqueline that she's on the fence about inviting the Wakiles. Jacqueline chimes in, "Teresa says no." Caroline's awesome response: "Well, it's not Teresa's party." Thank 89-year-old Jesus for adults in this world! Caroline hopes that the transition to a new year can signal a new era of peace between the Gorga-Giudice-Wakile clans. Jacqueline keeps hemming and hawing about Teresa's feelings until Chris steps in and tells her to stop being a 13-year-old girl. Besides, there's plenty of that going on with Melissa, who has unilaterally decided to have a sit-down with Teresa on behalf of Kathy. Because you know that's going to end well. Albie lightens the mood by asking if they'll need security for "Jeff Goldblum," a.k.a. Rich.

A bit later, Caroline and Albert give their kids the bracelet they designed. Lauren tears up and sniffles that Albie and Christopher aren't emotional enough. Quite the contrary, it seems like she's a raw nerve this season, no?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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