Real Housewives of New Jersey
A Manzo of Her Word

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 2 USERS: A+
Rosie Explains It All

And then Kathy and Richie visit Victoria in the cafeteria of her big fat Catholic college. She's still living at home, which I guess is why they seem so unfamiliar with anything having to do with her campus. Victoria wants to be a nurse practitioner, and Kathy is glad that she decided to live at home and not have free access to sex and parties with people her own age. Kathy regrets not going to college herself, and thus having the opportunity to make her own living and get the eff away from Richie. Richie pokes at the eye of medical dummies, and Kathy maybe picks up an application on the way out of the school.

Chris and Jacqueline prepare for a family gathering while making some sort of tasty-looking meat product, and then Jacqueline cries about Nicholas some more. She tells us that with all that's going on in her life, she can't have toxic people around her, which is probably why we haven't seen Ashle(e)(y) on the show yet. Also, she probably should have quit this show. Chris maintains his positive attitude yet again, and of all the husbands on the show, he seems like the one most worth having. Him and Al, who I'd totally hit.

And then real estate agent Jerry brings someone to view the Gorga home. The kids pick this time to act up, which Melissa thinks is a bonus selling point for the house. Real estate agent (and apparently friend of Teresa) Jennifer Dalton then brings by another potential buyer. Her name is Nisa, and she's a stylist to the celebrities. A booming business, if you can afford a $4 million house. Nisa asks why they're moving, but knows that the answer is Teresa. While Melissa wrangles the kids and Joe talks about what a masterpiece the house is, Nisa and Jennifer take their own tour where they note: a) the crack in the bedroom ceiling; b) the fact that there's no running water in the master bathroom; c) a busted up sink that is fake marble. Jennifer comes and talks to the Gorgas, telling them that they're crazy to think they're going to get $3.8 million for their crunk-ass house that also has no pool. Melissa fears that they're stuck. And this is a lesson in why you shouldn't build a stupid huge ugly tacky house! See also: The Queen of Versailles.

And then it's time for Teresa and Caroline's brunch, which takes place in a private room in some sort of homey establishment called The Ho-Ho-Kus. Is that where Melissa used to work? Caroline orders iced tea. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Teresa arrives, and Caroline explains that Joe wanted them to meet. Teresa then announces that Joe is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Well it's true! Caroline then explains that she called up Joe completely uninvited and unprovoked because she knows how hard it is to be in a family feud and wanted to comfort him with her sexual charms. Teresa tells Caroline that there's an old Italian saying equating to something like: when a third person comes in, it causes more problems. Well, that's better than, "Don't drink the red wine because it might have menstrual blood in it." Right on the heels of this fine first point, Teresa says she knows what she's doing and loses us all again. But Caroline is preaching to Teresa because her heart is hurting. Teresa wastes little time in bringing up Caroline's fractured relationship with Dina, and Caroline notes that she's right, but is also deflecting. And so Caroline will not be deterred! Teresa says that Joe needs to make the first move toward reconciliation. He's apparently apologized to everyone else, including that hag Kim D. Speaking of Kim D., Caroline wonders why Teresa still calls her friend. Um, because she has no other friends. Teresa brings up Jacqueline, which makes Caroline REALLY mad. Caroline says that Jacqueline was nothing but a true and loyal friend, but Teresa does not agree. Caroline tells us that in the end Teresa doesn't matter, which makes one wonder why she then went to such pains to get in her sticky beeswax.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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