Queer as Folk U.S.
Very Stupid People

Episode Report Card
Camper: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Is Everyone Sharing A Brain?

The friendly neighborhood lesbian bar. Marianne and Melanie sit at a table, smoking and drinking because it's too soon for them to suck face. Melanie sighs, exhaling a stream of smoke in the air, "Sometimes I would do anything for a cigarette." Marianne smirks, "Well, that's good to know." Urrrgh. Marianne asks why she doesn't smoke anymore; Melanie explains that she gave it up when the baby came; Lindsay was worried about secondhand smoke. Marianne asks whether Lindsay's one of those people "who's always infuriatingly right about everything?" Melanie laughs that she is. Marianne gazes at Melanie like she's a piece of steak and Marianne's just finished a long fast. No, I can do better than that: Marianne looks at Melanie like she really, really wants to have sex with her. After all, who died and crowned me Subtlety Queen? Melanie chuckles that Marianne was such a relief at the shower, where everyone else was so focused on babies, babies, babies. At a baby shower? How odd. Marianne agrees that it was all a bit oppressive. Melanie states that she loves Gus, and Marianne interrupts, "But sometimes, you just need something else." Whatever. Both of them are wearing really glossy lipstick, which accentuates...well, their mouths. Am I doing a good job of hiding how annoyed I am by this scene? No, I didn't think so. As the waiter (although it could be a waitress; there's like a crew-cut and a t-shirt that skitters away in a flash) puts down two more glasses of wine, Melanie asks whether she may have another cigarette. Marianne tells her to take the whole pack. It's a small price to pay for a little illicit booty. Melanie laughs that she'll just take one, lights a cigarette, and looks at the lighter, which is monogrammed "MM." Melanie asks about the monogram, since Marianne only told her that her last name was McDonald yesterday, for God's sakes. Anyway, it gives Marianne the opportunity to say that she, Melanie, and Marilyn Monroe all have the same initials. This starts a discussion about whether Marilyn, too, was a lesbian. Marianne says she's heard rumors, but who cares? Marilyn's dead. She's not sleeping with anyone anymore, and she's not on this show. And I'm getting the lesbian bonding and all, but let's keep it moving. Some of us have to work in the morning. Marianne says, "Well, I think this is fate. Just when you needed someone to tell your troubles to." Yeah, too bad you can't sleep with your psychiatrist. Marianne adds, "Not that you have to tell me. Considering that I'm your new best friend and weed pusher." Ha. Ha. Ha. Melanie shrugs that everyone has their problems, and Marianne sighs, "I know. Wait until you get a load of mine." You mean aside from this impulse to go after other women's girlfriends? Marianne: "But I want you to know that whatever's said here at this table doesn't go any further. Girl Scout's Honor." Wow, she's really cool, Mel. You should totally fuck her.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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