Queer as Folk U.S.
Very Stupid People

Episode Report Card
Camper: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Is Everyone Sharing A Brain?

Cut to Mike in the passenger seat of Brian's Jeep, eyes wide as he exclaims, "You fucked him in your office?" Brian smirks, "He was the best thing to come across my desk in a long time." ARRGGGHHHHH! KHANNNNNNN! Mike laughs that Brian's unbelievable, and Brian adds hemorrhage to insult to injury by replying, "Yeah, that's what he said." Brian snickers, "You mean no one's ever had a Big O at the Big Q?" Mike and I both hope not. Brian says he has. Amputation to hemorrhage to insult to injury, coming up: when Brian came to visit during the Christmas season, The Big Q was setting up the Santa picture booth. Mike begs Brian to not tell him that he fucked Santa. Brian grins, "Not even I would do that. [Pause] I'm not into fat. It was his elf." Mike's shocked. Brian adds, "What he lacked in feet, he made up for in inches." I'm in hell. Mike shakes his head, and says that Brian should still be careful: "Having sex in your office -- that may be a little high-risk, even for you." Brian shrugs that Kip came onto him: "I gave him a great opportunity, and a great fuck. He has no complaints." Idiot.

The House so Happy that Disney Should Sue. Melanie's in the living room working as Lindsay walks in, cheerfully talking to Franny on the phone. Before getting off the line, she tells Franny that she and Melanie both send their love. Melanie's not even paying attention. Lindsay, keeping up the act, chirps to Melanie that Franny and Zoe appreciated the shower, send their love back, and really liked the mobile Lindsay made for them. Melanie asks Lindsay whether she ever tires of being so cheery. I dunno -- do you ever tire of being such a bitch? Lindsay's shoulders fall and she replies, through gritted teeth, "You have no idea." Melanie says, "Well, I'm tired of putting in all these extra hours so you can be with the baby. So, why don't you just go -- go be with the baby." And to think for half a sec there, I was beginning to like her. I had an ex that used to do that all the time -- agree to do me a "favor," and then spend every waking moment afterwards reminding me about it. Like, literally seconds afterwards. As in, "I got you a drink. Don't worry, it's on me. Aren't you going to thank me?!" That's an actual example, by the way, and a hoot and a half to live with. Not. Shut up, Melanie. They go through the whole thing about no, it's really so Gus can be raised by one of his mommies instead of by a complete stranger, but Melanie likes being bitter, so can Lindsay please go away so Melanie can resent her some more? Thanks, Linds. Lindsay says she's not leaving until Melanie apologizes for her behavior at the shower. Melanie doesn't think that she did anything wrong. Lindsay says she was critical and rude and that half the time she wasn't even there, and I'm thinking she doesn't need a party to act like that -- you've just described her behavior during the entire run of this show. Melanie shoots back, "What about your behavior? Smiling and gracious as ever, as if nothing's wrong." Lindsay replies that there's plenty wrong, but "that doesn't mean [they] have to share it with [their] friends." Melanie retorts that maybe they should: "Maybe they should know that their role models aren't so perfect after all." And I'm sure they'll thank you for it. But probably not, those bitches. Melanie throws down her pen and gets her jacket. Lindsay asks her where she's going. Don't ask. Just change the locks once she's gone. Melanie snarls back, "For a smoke."

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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