Queer as Folk U.S.
Very Stupid People

Episode Report Card
Camper: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Is Everyone Sharing A Brain?

Babylon! At the bar, Brian says that the P-Town party's coming up: "I'll make the reservations as usual. For the three of us." What's a P-Town party? Something to do with Philadelphia, maybe? I await an explanation on the boards. Y'all are better than the Encyclopedia Britannica. Mike's like, three? Brian meant him, Ted, and Emmett. Mike whines, "And what about me?" Ted reminds him that he's married. Mike pouts that David said he could go, as long as he behaves himself. Well, good thing he got Daddy's permission. Brian sneers, "Then what's the point of going?" Ted grins, "That just means more guys for me and Em, right, Em?" Emmett wanly agrees. Ted asks what's up, and Brian snarks, "He's got razor burn on his balls" for no reason; he just hasn't had the chance to be an asshole for five seconds. Emmett shrugs that he's fine. Brian orders him out onto the dance floor. Emmett lags behind, and when Ted asks Emmett if he's coming, Emmett uses his drink as an excuse to stay behind. When The Boys are gone, Emmett pulls out his cell phone and calls Shiny Matt, screeching, "Help!"

At another club on Liberty Avenue (I don't think it's the diner), Emmett -- gesticulating wildy -- tells Shiny Matt that The Boys are making plans to go to P-Town: "And now I really want to go. All those men. All those drugs." Matt pulls his hands down, earning my deep and abiding hatred forever. Emmett apologizes for the gesturing. How long is this dumb-ass storyline going to go on? One of these cans is going to chip the TV screen eventually. Emmett continues, "And that's not the worst of it. I sold the watch that my grandfather gave me on my death bed to get a ticket for Barbra's absolutely final, farewell, I swear to God this is it, concert." Emmett says that he can barely survive on what he makes: "And I'm going to fill Mrs. Brolin's coffer? That's sick. I'm sick." Okay, maybe he has a point, but then again, his grandfather is dead, so it's not like he'd mind or anything. You're right -- I didn't just say that. Shiny Matt says that there's a cure: "That's why you came to 'See the Light.'" Shiny Matt hands Emmett a picture of a drag queen -- the drag queen Shiny Matt used to be. Emmett's like, no way: "But you're so --" Uh, Shiny? Shiny Matt ends, "Straight? Thank you." "Thank you"? We're toeing the farce line, here, aren't we? Matt adds that he keeps the picture to remind him of his former life -- of how far he's come. "But even then, I knew that underneath those wigs, and all those fabulous gowns, there was a conservative Republican computer analyst dying to be freed." And we've just tipped over. If this is how the rest of the episode is going to go, thank God I keep a bottle of aspirin on the coffee table at all times. And wine in the fridge. Lots and lots of wine. Emmett doesn't even blink, however, so we've really got problems. Shiny Matt tells Emmett that See the Light can do the same thing for him, if he's serious about it. Emmett vigorously nods his head that he is. Yeah, just what this country needs -- another closeted Republican with a feathered boa past. Shiny Matt warns him that he might have to "extricate [himself] from certain corrupt influences." Emmett asks if he means his friends, and Shiny Matt recites, "Are they really your friends if they lead you into temptation?" Well, isn't that what friends are for? I mean, I've always seen it as one of my sworn duties. Emmett mumbles that they wouldn't do it deliberately, and Shiny Matt shakes his head and says, "If you See the Light, you musn't allow anyone or anything to divert you from the path." Abstinence vow or no, how scary is this? Emmett? Emmett! Snap, Snap! Psst! Over here! Scary. Emmett thanks Matt for his support, and Matt tells him that that's what he's there for: "To make sure you don't slip."

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Queer as Folk U.S.

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