Queer as Folk U.S.
The Dangers Of Sex And Drugs

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
Sweet Pickle and Me!

Previously: Michael's real daddy wears a dress. Justin became a dancer whore.

Dancing, dancing, dancing boys. Mostly naked dancing boys. Dancing. Grinding. Someone told Justin that dancing in skanky sneaks was sexy. It's not. Justin lets someone shove a dollar bill into his mouth. That's the grossest thing I've ever seen on this show. Dirty money that's probably got come all over it in his mouth.

Staring at Justin from the bar are Brian, Emmett, Michael, and Ted. Michael says that Justin's switch from high-school senior to go-go dancer in less than a year has to be some kind of record. Ted says it's just another success story from Brian Kinney's home for runaway boys. Emmett says he always knew Brian was a good role model. Ted says that if he were Brian, he'd be going crazy watching all of those boys paw his boyfriend. Brian scoffs at the notion that Ted could be Brian. Michael can't believe that this doesn't bother Brian even a little bit. Apparently "everybody" knows that the only way you get to dance on the bar is if the boss blows you. How and why is this common knowledge? And why does Michael know it and not Brian? Brian says that Justin is earning an honest living and not taking any handouts. Just handjobs. Justin walks over and brags about how much money he's making. Michael and Brian say that Justin should be at home in bed, but Justin doesn't get off until 2 AM. Emmett and Ted wonder how Justin's going to be able to "keep it up," especially at home. Justin tells them not to worry and starts making out with Brian. Justin's Creepy Boss's face is somehow right between them then, and he says he doesn't pay Justin to make out with Justin's boyfriend. Justin says he's on a break. The boss tells him that break is over. Brian says that Justin's just keeping his customers happy. Creepy Boss pulls Justin back into the crowd, rubbing Justin's head the entire time. Ted calls him an asshole. Creepy Boss feeds Justin's nose some coke as Brian watches.

Stable. A place for horses, not a description of relationships on this show. Emmett stammers to Pickle that he as an irrational fear of any physical activity that doesn't take place in bed. Pickle tells him not to be such a sissy. "Any other impossible requests?" Emmett asks. Pickle laughs. He asks Emmett where his sense of adventure is. Emmett reminds Pickle that it's in the bedroom. Pickle tells Emmett that it's time for him to try something daring and new. Emmett says he's perfectly happy with his boring little Pittsburgh life. Pickle asks if Emmett would like to go around the world. Emmett reminds Pickle that they did that last night. Pickle says he's serious. He asks Emmett where he dreamed of going once he left Mississippi. Emmett says he wanted to go anywhere Audrey Hepburn made a movie and where there weren't shit kickers kicking the shit out of him. "But I only got as far as Pittsburgh," he says. Pickle says that the world is up for Emmett's grabs right now if he wants it. Emmett does.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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