Queer as Folk U.S.
The Art Of Desperation

Episode Report Card
Camper: B | 1 USERS: A+
Nobody Loves Brian...

Neat! It's time for "Queer as Folk: A Fireside Chat with Mandy Patinkin." I Heart Mandy Patinkin, ever since he was Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride. He was the original "Che" in Evita, too. Yay, Mandy! In an endearingly calm "No reason to panic, here -- they're just gay" voice, he recaps the last episode: Brian's potential client wanted to have sex with him, but ultimately didn't get any, Mike was asked out by his chiropractor and then acted like a big old dork; Justin's mother took him to a psychiatrist, and then spent the rest of the episode trying to catch up with him; Ted and Emmett rocked; and there wasn't enough Daphne.

A comic book shop. The camera zooms from one group of geek boys to another as Mike voice-overs, "There's a lot of things that a gay boy can learn from comic books. One, there are a lot of villains out there, so it's a good idea to develop some secret powers. Two, if you have a nice body, you can wear tight clothes. And three, it's always good to be part of a dynamic duo." Uh-huh. Clock reads 10:05, and I've got a good wince going; must be time for Queer as Folk. Mike's complaining to Brian about how badly his date with Dr. Dave went. Brian replies, "Don't worry, there will always be plenty of creepy old men trying to get into your pants." And if you're looking, Brian's got the number of at least one. And so does Justin. The guy working at the store throws Brian The Look of Homosexual Acknowledgement. Brian catches it. Comic Clerk Boy, sporting a blue baseball cap, walks over and hands Mike the new Catwoman comic book, looking at Brian the whole time. Brian's looking good, even for Brian. Buttery leather jacket over all black, yummmmm. Mike scowls at Comic Clerk Boy, who casually strolls away. Mike continues to blabber that Dr. Dave took him to a really nice restaurant, and Mike acted like an idiot, "dressed like some slick asshole." What's really funny is that those were Brian's clothes he was wearing. Brian doesn't think it's so funny. Mike clarifies the point -- that he wasn't himself: "You know why? Because I'm nobody. That's my problem." The world's smallest violin plays on. Brian can't hear it, because he's still checking out Comic Clerk Boy. Mike calls him on it, and Brian replies, "I tune out self-pity. It makes my dick soft." Mine, too -- seriously. Um...you know what I mean. Comic Clerk Boy coughs to get Michael's attention. He's got the new Electra Woman doll, too. Mike's jazzed, and says he's going to get it for Gus. Brian smirks, "Don't. I don't want a gay kid." Right. Mike replies, "He's going to be raised by two lesbians. He's going to need a feminine influence." Well, can't Emmett just visit more? Lindsay and Melanie like him. Brian says that he'll take the doll to the Happy Fun House, since he's going over there anyway. He's brave. Mike wants to go, too, but Brian tells him to go over to David's office and ask for another chance. Heeding his master's voice, Mike leaves Comic Clerk Boy and Brian grinning lecherously at each other.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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