Queer as Folk U.S.
Home Is Where The Ass Is

Episode Report Card
Camper: C- | Grade It Now!
They're Ba-ack

Mike and Brian are in Brian's loft. Brian exclaims, "All protests are bullshit. Well-meaning do-gooders marching around, carrying signs. Chanting? 'Hey, hey, ho, ho, homophobia's got to go'? " Mike takes this to mean Brian won't be joining in. Brian snorts, "Jesus, what the fuck did I ever do without you to harangue me? When the hell are you going back, anyway?" Mike slowly replies that he's not going back. Brian nods, "I know." Mike's like, did T&E tell you? No, somehow Brian figured it out by himself: "I knew it wouldn't work out." Mike grumps, "Right as usual." Hardly ever, actually. Just lucky this time. Brian's like, "It's not about me" (as snow falls somewhere in Hawaii); it's about Mike, "Did you really think you'd be happy living in Wisconsin as a doctor's wife?" Mike says that he was in Oregon. Brian doesn't care. Mike sighs, "Maybe that's the problem. I don't know where the fuck I belong." Brian grabs his arm and pulls Mike down for a kiss, replying, "There. That's where." Well, that clears it up. Thanks. Brian tells Mike to go help his mom, "and make the world safe for fags." Mike laughs and asks Brian what he's reading; it looks like their old Chemistry book from high school. Brian futzes that he's doing some research for a new pharmaceutical client. Mike grins, "Well, you must be thrilled. You'll be able to get E wholesale."

Back in the courtroom bathroom. Judge Roy primps in the mirror, then takes his usual stall. He sits down, groaning in satisfaction. When he's done, he puts out his cigarette, then tries to get up off of the toilet. But he's stuck to it. Very stuck. Yeah, this totally beats filing a civil suit against Hobbes for damages.

At Woody's, the gang watch a news report about Judge Roy's mishap. They were able to get him free after fourteen hours. Melanie snarks, "The seat of justice has been severely compromised." Emmett drawls, "No skin off my ass." Ted nods, "I bet he wishes he could say the same thing." Lindsay wonders who did it. Light dawns on Mike's face, and he walks over to Brian. "You know what this reminds me of? That time in Chemistry class when you said you were going to invent synthetic cum, and you made that goo? And you put it all over the toilet seat in the teacher's lounge and Mrs. Renfro got glued to it." Brian kind of grins, then takes off before Mike can say anything else.

Outside the Taylor Condo, Justin and Brian toss around a whiffle ball. Daphne watches, sitting on the steps with Brian. Justin says that he knew Chris Hobbes was going to go free: "They don't care about us; they wish we were all dead." Brian tells him to not worry about it, just to keep throwing the ball. Justin curses when his hand seizes up. Brian encourages the boy to keep trying. Daphne applauds his attempts, because that's what she's there for. Justin poo-poohs her, because that's also what she's there for. But you know he's pleased. Jennifer drives up. She greets Daphne and, after a moment, greets Brian, too. Brian explains that they were just tossing the ball around, Mrs. Taylor, ma'am. Jennifer tells Justin to go inside and rest. Justin protests that he's not tired, so she clarifies that she wants to speak to Brian. Alone. Brian tells him to go ahead. Justin mopes inside, taking Daphne with him.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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