Queer as Folk U.S.
Home Is Where The Ass Is

Episode Report Card
Camper: C- | Grade It Now!
They're Ba-ack

Mike and Emmett's. Mike tries to get the guy from Woody's out of the apartment before Emmett sees him. Mike's completely naked, and I have to say -- nice butt. As Mike tiptoes back to his room, Emmett turns on the light over the couch, where he's been observing all this. "So," Emmett asks, "How was your piece of cake?"

The Happy Fun House. Still Happy, still Fun, since Lindsay's mother is yelling at her over the phone. Lying topless in bed, Lindsay yells back that Melanie did not put her up to it. Mel leans over and drawls, "That's right, blame the Jew!" Heh. Lindsay explodes, "If Lynette can get married three times, then why can't I?!" Through the phone, we can hear Nancy say things like, "Two women cannot get married. How are we going to show our faces?" Lindsay ignores her and cheerfully replies, "Love to Daddy. Can't wait to see the video." Snicker. She slams the phone down and says that she can't believe how upset her parents are. Is she kidding? Melanie shrugs it off, saying, "Fear not. In time, they'll sweep it underneath their WASPy rugs and forget all about it." Lindsay doesn't want to forget about it, however: "I want full and equal recognition -- if not by the law, then at least in my parents' house!" Melanie climbs out of bed, with no pajama bottoms on, and sighs, "I'd count on getting hitched in Mississippi first." Lindsay tries to pull her back into bed, but Melanie's already pulling on her panties. Lindsay says that Melanie hasn't answered her question -- does she wanna get hitched? Melanie didn't think Lindsay was serious. Lindsay says she was dead serious: "Why do they get to receive everyone's blessings and presents and we don't?" Melanie says she knew it was about presents! Snicker. And, anyway, weren't these two wearing wedding rings last season? What, did they just toss them to each other one night after one too many beers at Woody's? Melanie adds, "For one thing, it's not even legal, and for another, you know how I feel about weddings. They're meaningless, antiquated rituals for heterosexuals." Lindsay choruses in on that last sentence. She's heard it before. Melanie kisses her and continues, "We have a marriage. And a family. Six years strong. Give or take a few bumps in the road." Although it would be nice, Mel says, to have a big party and get a bunch of presents, they certainly don't need it to prove that they love each other: "So, let's go grab our kid and get some brunch." Ah, yes, brunch. Once described to me as "church for gay people." Lindsay grumps on the bed.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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