Queer as Folk U.S.
Home Is Where The Ass Is

Episode Report Card
Camper: C- | Grade It Now!
They're Ba-ack

Cake-cutting. Lindsay gets everyone's attention. She introduces herself, and congratulates Lynette and Hubby #3. He's handsome, but wait. What's that sound? Is that my gaydar going off? Lindsay then says, "To stand in front of your family and friends, to declare your love and commitment in the eyes of God is a privilege -- not to be taken lightly." Burn! Lindsay continues, "Because I've shared a commitment with my partner for six wonderful years, even though we're not married." Lynette's looking nervous. So's Melanie. Lindsay keeps going: "And that's because we're not allowed to. But that shouldn't stop two people from doing what they want. Should it? So, I'd like to ask my beloved, 'Will you marry me?'" Melanie looks like she wants to crawl under the carpet and die. Lindsay laughs in glee at her own boldness and runs over to hug Melanie. And I have to give props to the woman playing Lynette -- not everyone can turn purple on cue like that.

At Brian's, Justin sits at the counter and animatedly recounts his injuries. He gestures to the right side of his head, where he was hit. With his left hand, he takes the water Brian offers him. His useless right hand stays in his pocket. Justin tells Brian that if he'd gotten hit a little harder or in a slightly different place, he'd be a complete vegetable. As it is, he's a miracle of science -- the only person whose motor skills are wired completely differently from anyone else's on the planet. Justin further explains that Hobbes only damaged the cerebral motor strip. Brian makes a dumb joke, asking if that's "a drag race to [Justin's] brain." Justin says it's the part of the brain that controls motor functions. Brian nods, "I know. I attended eighth grade." Unlike the writers, apparently. Justin says that he might never draw again. Brian snorts, "They're always telling people they'll never walk again, or draw again, or piss again, so when you finally do you'll think they're geniuses, and they can charge you whatever the fuck they want." After another deadening moment of silence, Justin asks why Brian didn't come to see him. Brian asks why he should have. For the third time -- or is it the fourth? -- Justin points out that he was in a coma for a couple of weeks, then in rehab for a month. Brian replies, "You know, if you really want to regain the agility and strength in your hand, I suggest jerking off several times a day. It works like magic." Justin and I roll our eyes. Justin says that Brian should have at least called to make sure Justin was still alive. Brian points out that he obviously would have heard if Justin wasn't, and that there's nothing Brian could have done for Justin, anyway.

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Queer as Folk U.S.




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