Push, Nevada
Color Of Money

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | Grade It Now!
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Oh, they're shoveling it, all right

A voice-over comes out of the morass and informs Jim in the voice of Bill, "The man you seek, his name is Oswald Wilkes, and his soul is as twisted as the serpent on his arm." Jim wakes up in his bed at Martha's Quirk 'n' Go with a start, gives a quick "…and it was only a dream!" sigh, sits up, and looks back at his sheets to notice the words "Death & Taxes" written in backwards Spinal Tap font on the bed sheets. "Htaed" and "Sexat" caused redrum! Because that's the cliché about the only things we can be sure of in life. Death and taxes. Hee. "Sexat." A quick pan to Jim's back displays a huge and bloody tattoo with the two words (and that one accusatory ampersand) splashed from shoulder to shoulder, and the director of Memento fills out his tax forms, ticking the boxes for "Caucasian" and "insanely rich one-trick pony" before perusing the sheet, quietly muttering in a delightfully twee British accent, "Now, where's the box you tick if you'd like to sue?"

Opening credits: Yeah. This show. Speaking of things people "write off."

A title card reading "The Color Of…" appears on screen, floating on top of a big bowl of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. We fade into a never-before-seen shot of bleached (no!) desert (stop it!) sunshine (why, Djb, must you turn this recap into a house of lies?), the accompanying soundtrack being the Ezekiel 25:17 Bible radio station we've heard in episodes past. Anyone have a read on what passage that really is? Is it significant in solving the mystery? Or has that cash already been reallocated to form the financial base of the production staff's severance pay? Fuck the clue, "the color of…" is clearly pink, for the slips that paper LivePlanet's hallways tonight. Right. Anyway, some clever irising (check me out with the D.W. Griffith School Of Legit Film Knowledge diploma…where have you gone, Mary Pickford? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you!) reshapes my screen into the aspect of one staring through binoculars at a lonely desert street. Into the binoculars' range walks a crazy hairy homeless loony (or at least an actor convincingly portraying one), pushing a cart of Loony Tools for to befit his Loony Yearnings.

We cut to the holder of the binoculars, which turns out to be the lead man of The Three Product-Placed Ross-Dress-For-Less Suit-Wearers Of The Apocalypse, who we'll call Huey for a more hyphen-less point of reference. While Dewey and Louie waste the whole day swimming through vast piles of cash with their Uncle Scrooge in the room with all the loose swimming money in it, Huey shows up and works an honest day, goddammit. That's why he gets to be first. And in the end, the only thing you even have to gain from that whole damn tangent is having the Duck Tales theme song stuck in your head for the rest of the week. Sorry. Oh, and "whoo-oo."

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Push, Nevada

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