Project Runway

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B | Grade It Now!
Wear In Hell

Most of the consultations seem to go pretty smoothly. April's girl has a lot of rules and regulations. Other Michael and his girl get on like gangbusters. Cute Michael's lady tells him that he can do whatever he wants with her dress. Then, our cute boy interviews that, when designing for a woman who is, what is the word? "VOLUMPTUOUS?" Yes, that's the word he was looking for. Looking for. Making up. Whatever. His girl is more volumptuous than the others. Anyway, when designing for women who are like that word, things can go very wrong. He thinks that his success in this challenge will depend on good tailoring and smart choices. He seems really freaked out. Consultations are over and everyone is off to Mood.

They can only buy like two yards of fabric. Cute Michael decides to get upholstery fabric, so he'll have more yardage. I don't understand that. Two yards is more than two yards? [Yes, because upholstery fabric is wider across so you can cover larger things like couches and make curtains. Thanks, Home Ec class. -- Angel] Cutie asks Tim if a fabric he's considering looks too cheap. Tim merely replies that it is cheap.

Back at the workroom, Cute Michael announces that he would like for his model's size to not even be a topic of conversation. Gretchen says that it's just about making a beautiful garment out of the ugly dress. That's so obvious that I'm wondering if there's some greater meaning that I just don't get. Peach asks Mondo for help because she can't create darts without making the fabric pucker.

It looks like Other Michael is having a pretty easy time. He totally gets what to do with his dress. In the sewing room, Valerie tells Andy that she was hoping Other Michael would get eliminated in this challenge. Andy says some bullshit about wishing that he would give him something to respect. That's so lame. Then, Valerie acknowledges that Other Michael is probably going to get kudos from the judges for his current design and it will make them all look crazy for talking smack about him. Well, have you considered that maybe he actually has some talent? I don't understand this insistence that everyone have the EXACT same skill sets. Fine, he's not a master sewer. He's clearly a problem solver though so why doesn't everyone just get off of their stupid high fashion horses? And, if it's merely the dress that is easy, why didn't you choose it?

Gretchen has a Skype convo with her mother who is very supportive and loving. I suppose Gretchen can't really be this huge asshole or anything, but she's got a touch of the entitled, yes? Anyway, she mentions to her mother that she's thinking about going home, which I don't believe for even the tiniest of moments. Her mom reminds her that she needs to maximize the benefit from this opportunity. My mother would tell me to book the next flight home if I showed even the slightest weakness. She's like a shark. Or a lion and a pack of caribou. Like all conversations with mothers on reality television, Gretchen is reminded that she needs to stay focused on her work. Then, we hear from Christopher. He says that he was crushed for Gretchen when Tim called her out because he doesn't believe that she has a malicious bone in her body. Well, shut up, Christopher. The thing is, Gretchen got too big for her britches and somebody had to rectify the situation. Enter Mr. Gunn. Holla.

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Project Runway




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