Project Runway
Wall To Wall

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Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
Wall To Wall

We see Robert tell Michael and Angela that he worked for Isaac Mizrahi and found it to be one of the best and worst experiences of his life. Angela wants to know details. You and me both, Angela. Robert interviews that working with Isaac taught him patience. "'Cause at times, I would want to drive a stake through that man's heart," he finishes with clenched teeth. That's really not a surprise, is it? Watch any single episode of his show and you'll see one person with whom he is dealing that shows a flash of the same impulse. Robert tells us that he has been designing for Barbie Doll for eleven years. "With Barbie, you can put her in insane drag-queen clothes. And she thinks they're great. She loves them." I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of personifying Barbie with emotions. It makes me laugh.

Heidi asks Stacey whom of the designers she likes and she says that everyone is lovely. "I hope it stays that way." Stacey tells us that she went to Stanford, then to Harvard for her MBA. She started a couple of companies, including a dot-com, but decided to "get back to [her] passion, which was fashion." I hope she went to school on scholarship, because if I were her parent and paid the $17 million required for that education, and then she decided she wanted to be a fashion designer...well, she would at least have to mow my lawn or some shit.

Heidi has an announcement to make. She asks everyone if they like the apartments, and everyone responds in the affirmative. "Good, because for your first challenge, you must use materials found in your apartment." Screams! Tim says that anything in the apartment could be used as raw materials. Alison interviews that she was excited, because as a kid it would have been her dream to walk around her house and be allowed to cut up anything she found.

Heidi says that their designs should express who they are as designers. Tim explains that each designer will have a little black Project Runway kit in which will be scissors, pliers, and a laundry bag. "Use these tools to source your materials," says Tim Gunn. I love it when he uses verbs like "source." To avoid any argument, Heidi adds that the designer who touches an object first gets it.

Malan looks like he smells something bad. He interviews that he is "irritated" by the challenge, because he prefers "better quality fabrics" than bed sheets and interior fabrics. Hopefully, this whole experience will allow Malan to buy a television, at which point he would be able to tune into a little program called Project Runway. On that show, they make clothes out of all kinds of shit, including nature's fabric. At that point, bed sheets and interior fabrics will seem like a cakewalk. Bitch.

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Project Runway




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