Project Runway
The Art of the Matter

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Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now!
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A Sheep In Wolf's Clothing

As Bert is picking his teeth, Laura asks him if he's gay or straight. Gay. She tells him that he could play the "straight card" and he replies, "Yeah, well." I don't know what she means by that. Like, be the designer that comes on and says he's straight so that he seems different from everyone else? Truth be told, as many straight guys as gay guys have won this thing, haven't they? That seems disproportionate. Whatever. Laura asks if he's married and he says that he's widowed. Several people "Aw" at the news. She asks if it was sudden and he says no, he had AIDS. Man, Bert is an interesting guy. Just his delivery -- when the previous facts of matters have been as intense as the facts of his matters, most everything sounds pretty matter of fact. He says that they were together for 18 years and it was love at first sight. He interviews that, when his partner John died, he'd never lost anyone that had meant that much to him. It took him to a dark place, which lead to alcohol abuse. His life spiraled out of control and he's glad to be out of that now and enjoying his life again. We get to see Bert Skype with his family. His sister is watching his dog for him, which is cute. She's super excited to see him and says that she's proud of him and that he looks great. He's happy that there are people still around who are rooting for him. Damn. Sentiments like that are earned from having a really fucking hard time. His sister tells him to "make it work" and he does that thing that I have no name for. That gesture sometimes accompanied by an extended middle finger. You know, where you bend your elbow up and grab the crook with your other hand. On some Discovery Channel show about body language I saw years ago, they said it was a sign for an "aggressively erect penis," which is apparently insulting. Who knew? Bert says that you can forget that there are people to go back to that you love and miss.

Kimberly is not as far along as she had hoped. Josh C. is feeling good about his work. Bryce announces, "Ok, it's 10 o'clock. Let's get your stuff and go." This gets laughs and I'm assuming he's doing some sort of impression, but it doesn't really sound like Tim, so I'm not sure who he's doing. He actually sounded like Michael Kors, but you know Kors ain't having to be a tour guide on this resort.

That night, Laura says that she's feeling a lot of anxiety being at the same work table as Josh C. His wolf thing is making her nervous. They're talking about it in the boys' apartment too. Josh C. loves his wolf and Josh M. thinks it was inspiring too. Kimberly says that Josh C. probably has a lot to prove, seeing that he was in the bottom twice before and here he is on his own for the first time. Becky adds that this is a competition and somebody has to go home. There needs to be a moratorium on the sort of game book of reality competition spewing that happens. Yeah, we've been watching the show for 72 years, Becky, somebody mostly always goes home. Don't ever fucking tell me how this show works again or I will set fire to your back issues of Sassy.>

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Project Runway

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