Project Runway
On Thin Ice

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!
On Thin Ice

Tim asks Emmett how he is doing. Tim doesn't seem impressed. He seems to think that the fabric is too dark.

"How is Zulema?" Tim asks Zulema. She describes what she will be doing with "sequin." This has been mentioned on the forums as an annoyance, and I agree. It's not "sheep," "deer," or "salmon." There's a plural form of the word, lady. Tim tells her that her design is ambitious and beautiful.

Andrae, while wearing those criminally short shorts that he loves so, explains his design to Tim as "Princess Cyclone." The Princess is clearly not in the same kingdom as the Earl of Close Your Legs When You're Wearing Shorts That Are That Short. It's a shame the Earl's not an ambassador.

After Kara describes her design to Tim, he expresses concern that her garment might be too boring. Daniel continues his streak of smack talk and interviews that Kara's design was basic "not in a Calvin Klein way; it was basic in a J. C. Penney way."

Santino quite cordially tells Tim that his inspiration is a "phoenix rising from the flames." This guy's so cutting edge, he can't even wait for the ashes. It needs to be Now, Now, Now! Santino's phoenix does not have time for the ashes -- it will rise from the flames. Tim delicately tells Santino that his design is "over the top." He suggests that, when confronted with that criticism on the runway, he counter with a tone more appropriate than "fuck you." In case anyone has forgotten, they remind us of Santino's go-to tone. Santino explains in an interview that his goal is to send down the runway the most unique, dramatic designs he can achieve. "It's a dramatic statement, and that looks like something." I guess he's kind of saying, in the words of my girl Julia Roberts -- and, unfortunately, it's my second Steel Magnolias reference of the season -- "I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special."

Everyone scurries to finish. At one point, we see Daniel howl like a werewolf with pleasure at his design. Santino sings another song: "Tim Gunn! Tim Gunn! If he calls your name you're gone!" His songwriting is really improving -- at the expense, I'm afraid, of his designing. Nick, while a terrific designer, is no match for Santino as a songsmith. His contribution goes a little something like, "Ta-ta-da-da-da." Accompanying the song is Kara with some weak choreography. I think these guys need some sleep.

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Project Runway




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