Project Runway
Designer's Best Friend

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: B+ | Grade It Now!
Designer's Best Friend

Vincent gets the giggles over his dog outfit. It makes me uncomfortable. I guess I should ease up on the guy, but... I don't want to. It's manifestly obvious that he's crazy; I didn't make the shit up. He interviews that people aren't considering the importance of the dog outfit. Then he laughs some more about the hat that he made for his dog. It's so naked, his emotion. It's like some sort of porn.

Bradley looks really worried. I'm worried for him. Someone says in the workroom that the next day is Bradley's birthday. Everyone summons up a weak "happy birthday" hoot without looking up from their work. Then Jeffrey says wouldn't it be horrible if Bradley had to go home on his birthday. Well, yes, it would be horrible. In fact, I might stop having birthdays if something like that happened on my birthday. My pain would make me ageless. Beautiful? Yes. Tragic? Another yes. I'm torn.

Keith, bless his bastard heart, says that he hopes Bradley is safe for this challenge, but it doesn't look good. He feels like Bradley should have stuck with his original idea because it couldn't possibly be worse than what Angela has made. He thinks her outfit looks like a "big bag of Skittles." We don't see too much of it, but it's certainly colorful.

Next, Keith is a total bitch in the sewing room. He's looking for a free sewing machine and is so pompous about it. It's like a high school cafeteria and Keith is the meathead on the five-year plan, except paint everything gay. Jeffrey interviews that Keith has a huge ego. Laura says that she has had a problem with Keith for the past week or so. Then it looks like she hears that he is using hers and Michael's thread, so she goes to ask him about it. He's all, "Is it really that big a deal?" Which I hate. And which is extremely effective at inciting people. She kind of faux puffs up and says, "I'm just trying to protect my man!" Then we see him walking past her as she is trying to explain something and he says, "Not this morning," and then gives her one of those interrupting shut-up "Bup! Bup! Bup!"s. Laura continues in her interview that Keith is a shithead and arrogant and mean. Keith interviews that Laura is "bad mommy. I had a good mommy. She's bad mommy." If Keith doesn't die later in this episode or maybe the next, I'm imagining we've just witnessed the basis for a great reunion special showdown. I'm all for competitiveness and I don't feel like I'm overly sensitive, but that guy was such an asshole just then. If someone doesn't want you to use their thread, I'm not sure that you should start insulting their parenting skills.

Sweet Bradley pops up to say that there is some "spiciness" occurring in the workroom, but he's just trying to finish his outfit. Then, he rubs his eyes and does this little peek-a-boo thing. My kingdom for that image as a screensaver. I don't really have a kingdom, though, so, empty promise.

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Project Runway




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