Project Runway

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

There are only four boys left in the competition, which could mean that a woman may actually win this season of Project Runway, although it may be a pre-destined victory what with the show's move to Lifetime Television (Motto: er...I need more coffee before I can be clever. I'll come back to that later.) Suffice to say that Lifetime is just all about the ladies, you know? It's pink and they make Nora Roberts books into feature-length films and although I don't know anyone who reads Nora Roberts (in fact, according to my Facebook friends poll the number one favorite author among my friends is Michel Hollebecq, so apparently my friends are Hollebecq girls, which is exactly what Gwen Stefani was singing about) but anyway, my point is apparently some women really like Nora Roberts and unicorns and LeAnn "Adulteress" Rimes and also Project Runway and Lifetime paid good money to prove that point. So a girl totally has to win this season. My logic is impeccable, so don't even try to argue. Besides, Christopher is about to burn out and Nicholas is such a bitch he would count as a woman anyway. HOWEVER proving that the women are not impervious to the judges' dismissal, Carol Hannah bemoans the loss of Louise in the blue challenge last week. HOWEVER, Carol Hannah does this while applying mascara about two centimeters from the mirror doing the whole google eye mascara application thing and the cameraman (or woman!) decides to film the entire quasi-surgical procedure. Like, blink already, girl! For her efforts, Carol Hannah is awarded the standard line in any competitive reality show about how they've gotten to the point in the competition where really talented people are going home and it's hard to watch. Yawn! It's a competition, people have to go home so you can win! The next shot is of a wet-headed Carol Hannah on the floor straddling a full-length mirror (she's fully-dressed so get all those '70s feminist know-your-body mirror party images out of your heads) and she is once again fetishistically applying mascara. She also appears to have her breakfast on the floor with her, like she knows she is going to be there a good long while and brought provisions. Maybe Carol Hannah should talk to her trusted medical professional about Latisse, because in her case, longer lashes might be medically necessary. At least in the sense of medical necessity as "time management aid" because OH MY GOD it's been like twenty minutes of mascara application. Gordana interrupts the make up application to mention that she wants to never miss out on anything, which is why she is here. No regrets, or however you say that in German. Irina sits in her chair smugly sipping her cuppa and arrogantly assuming all the girls hate her because she won two competitions in a row. And, while that may be true, I'm sure Irina has given the girls plenty of other reasons to hate her. Logan tries to explain Irina's logic. He thinks she has a sophisticated look that appeals to the judges and her confidence has been boosted and now she thinks she is better than everybody. Actually, Logan, I think Irina always thought she was better than all of you. In a moment of foreshadowing, Christopher reminds us that he can't be in the bottom three again or he will be forced to go back in his parents' basement in Shakopee, MN and then he will die surrounded by cats and muttering to his mannequins, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" Oh c'mon, you know it's true!

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Project Runway




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