Private Practice

Episode Report Card
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Oh, Baby

Dr. Douche has rushed to repair whatever damage he did to Cooper's patients nuts, but Charlotte won't let him unless he can swear he didn't take any drugs that day. He can't. Walk of shame.

The poor sad beleaguered parents who were cruelly and coldly abandoned by Addison stare at their teeny tiny baby while making plans to find a new surgeon. Pete and Naomi nod along, but when the mom sighs that she wants to hold him, Naomi says there is a way: she can hold him and say goodbye. The mom looks horrified, but when Naomi says that as a mother sometimes you have to find the strength to do what is right for your child even when it will kill you or something else she plagiarized from a Hallmark card and suddenly the mom is convinced. Of course, the mom doesn't realize that Naomi was actually talking to herself about HER own kid, but alls well that ends well, right? The mom may be convinced, but the dad (who is a stand out as a mediocre actor) isn't there yet.

Rosanna Arquette has just finished with Maya's hair and make up when Sam interrupts their girl talk to try and pry his daughter out of the evil clutches of Rosanna Arquette. Rosanna takes the hint and like goes to attend to her actual child for a minute. Maya apologizes to her dad and begs him to be happy for her. Sam pretends to be supportive and kind and happy and almost manages it this time.

At the church, Charlotte is obviously sitting in the row right behind Cooper because, yeah, why wouldn't you sit right behind your ex-boyfriend? And why is she at Maya's wedding anyway? Anyway Charlotte explains that Dr. Douche is off in rehab and can she sit next to him? Cooper's plus one shows up just then and she is, like... well, Charlotte is the Mini-Me of this woman. All blonde and Southern fried and tough talkin'. Hahahahhaaa! Awkward! Kill me!

At the hospital, the dad tells Pete that he loves his son and that's why he won't give up hope. Pete tells him the best way to show his love is to let him go. Speaking of loving by letting go of your children, Maya is about to walk down the aisle when Naomi finally shows up chock full of things borrowed, blue, old and new. Maya is as stoic-faced as ever, but blinks twice so we know she's happy. Naomi looks like she is going to barf and faint as she walks into the church and smiles at Rosanna Arquette and sits next to Addison. Then Maya gets married and Naomi looks like she is going to die, like, dead right there on the pew. And then she comes to accept it and swallows back the bile.

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Private Practice




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