Private Practice

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now!
Oh, Baby

Violet is staring at a wedding dress in the elevator when Pete gets in. Instead of making a Miss Haversham references, he asks if she is eloping. Hahahahahhaaaaaaaaa. Unless she could elope with her bottle of Prozac or the physical manifestation of sad. Hahahahahahaaa. Violet takes me to the dark place. She's like a black hole of happy and I still have no idea why the fuck she exists on this show. I mean seriously, I am more comfortable watching the dying baby than her. So Pete makes some crack about the wedding dress and Violet fake laughs and then starts crying quietly, stroking the dress and muttering, "It's my wedding. It's my wedding. " Then she asks Pete if he is bringing a plus one because she's not bringing a plus one, but Cooper is, is Pete bringing one? She makes sorrowful noises until Pete swears he's not bringing anyone and the last lone solitary spark of hope residing in the dark, dark abyss of Violet's bleak existence lights up at that assurance and little birds descend from the heavens and carry her on to her next errand.

Cooper finds Doctor Douche passed out in the lounge. Not the one Pete and Addison had sex in, but a different one. Cooper calls him out on his drug using bullshit and reminds him that he is a doctor with, like, responsibilities and patients and, oh yeah, he could hurt someone! Doctor Douche doesn't care... unless Cooper is threatening him. Is Cooper threatening him? Cooper is not threatening him yet, but suggests he go talk to Dr. Violet... OR ELSE HE GOES TO CHARLOTTE. Um, the same Charlotte who already shot down your slanderous innuendo? That Charlotte? Yes, THAT Charlotte. For some reason Doctor Douche goes for it. It must all be a cry for help.

Meanwhile, Addison is doing the surgery, but it is not going well. The baby survives the operation, and she is able to stop his bleeding brain, but this is not cause for hope, people. The parents are hopeful anyway. So Addison harshly adds that there is most likely brain damage, the kid has no digestive system, and is most likely going to go blind. Mom and Dad aren't really buying it. And I can't blame them, because who would want to buy that, right? Addison says the kid has less than a one percent chance to live outside the NICU and the parents' ears perk up at that. Addison tries to squash the hope like it is Tinkerbell in mosquito form and Pete and Naomi just sit there while Addison kicks them while they are down. Addison just gets stonier and stonier in light of their Pollyannaishness and finally she refuses to do any more operations and storms out of the room.

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Private Practice




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