Private Practice

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Violet and Dell decompress in her office. Dell apologizes for his rough handling of Mr. Cupcake. Violet guesses that his visceral reaction was due to his childhood abuse, but Dell relates it to having a six-year old daughter. (Betsy, whose existence was just invented last week, so you are forgiven for not remembering.) Dell reminds Violet (and the audience) that his daughter's mother is a drug addict and hangs around with bad people and he is powerless to protect her. Violet tells Dell about her rape. While it is nice that she can open up about it, it seems unnecessary and sort of a non sequitur. Also, why did everyone in the office know that Dell was abused as a child? Is it odd that it would not occur to me to divulge such to my coworkers? Dell and Violet debate whether Mr. Cupcake's desire to get better is enough to merit him staying on the outside surrounded by cupcakes. Would Jenny Craig be a safer spot for him? Violet doesn't know.

Sam pulls out a beer in order to relax after Maya's nine-second interaction with the cupcake fanatic. Naomi comes down from upstairs. She finally got Maya to sleep with a few Ambien and a bottle of scotch. She'll start therapy and ECT in the morning. Naomi chugs the beer in relief. (Editorial Aside: Yes, I know I am being glib. Yes, pedophilia is serious. But! Maya was with him for less than one minute and her parents undoubtedly traumatized her more with their massive overreaction than if they had simply removed him from the room. Thus, the glibness. Now don't email me.) Sam apologizes for leaving Maya alone in the office, but won't apologize for punching Archer in front of Maya, who was apparently the only person who didn't notice the melee. He then weirdly tells Naomi that he always thought he would be the first to move on from their relationship. Naomi giggles like a teenager and has a fox-in-the-henhouse grin while she laughs that she didn't think she'd be first either, but she's glad! They got divorced to live their own lives and now they are. And apparently they are going to spend the rest of their lives rubbing it in each other's faces. How modern!

Charlotte lets herself into Cooper's house. He demands his key back, but she ignores him because she bought him a present. She opens her trench coat to reveal an entire outfit of edible body paint. When Cooper restrained himself for a moment, Charlotte barked at him to not let it melt. She jumps on Cooper and shoves her frosting-covered boob in his face. He caves. Quick question: Where did she put on the paint? At the office? In the car? In the hallway? I don't know what Kadee Strickland did before, but I am so sorry about what she is doing now.

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Private Practice

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