Private Practice

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SWAT a WASP

As the coworkers survey the damage, both to their door and to their business, they finally explain why they care about the competing medical practice. Since Charlotte was the head of St. Ambrose Hospital, she will now get all the referrals. Which would make sense except that this show has pounded into our heads the fact that Charlotte is a completely unlikable biznatch, so why would she have any friends from St. Ambrose? Addison doesn't think the day could get any worse, then she remembers that she was the one who rented the fourth floor in the first place. She whirls around and puts everyone on notice that if they don't want any more doors broken they better not mention her decision. Cooper and his very un-Californian plaid flannel shirt, charge off the elevator onto the still under construction fourth floor. He beelines to where Charlotte is still standing and supervising the construction, which seems to involve nothing but looking over blueprints and wearing a hard hat. Cooper accosts her and yells at her for milking him for private information about his private practice. He is really worked up, but Charlotte quickly takes the wind out of his sails by saying that she signed a non-disclosure agreement and couldn't tell him until the place was fully staffed. Why didn't she just tell Violet that? Maybe it was a non-disclosable non-disclosure agreement. Now Cooper knows and Charlotte's glad. Cooper looks confused.

Violet's back on the couch with Mr. Cupcake. He loves looking at pictures of cupcakes. He wants to touch them, because he knows they are sugary tasty fantasies with no calories and 100% fat free. He doesn't feel guilty about it. Or at least not as guilty as he does when he looks at the cupcake that filed charges against him. Violet wants to talk about the real cupcake -- The one from the courtroom with the alluring pink frosting and beautiful orange and green sprinkles. Mr. Cupcake doesn't want to eat that cupcake. It would be wrong! And add unnecessary calories to his already full diet, not to mention the inevitable cottage-cheese thighs. Violet thinks he does want to eat the cupcake. She thinks it sounds like he has a plan to eat the cupcake. I'm surprised he can do any cupcake eating at all what with all the sniveling he does. Tears always make for soggy frosting.

Back in the lobby, Sam and Maya step off the elevator. Maya is wearing marshmallow white frosting with blue and orange sprinkles. She is a veritable cupcake of foreshadowing. An icing-covered caboose on the Candyland express of inevitability. Okay, I don't know what that meant either, but it was fun to write. Addison leaves another voicemail for SWAT as she walks into Naomi's office. Much to Addison's chagrin, Naomi is meeting Archer again. While Naomi tries to explain to Addison the joys of single living, Sam starts to interrupt the conversation, but is stopped by his desire to eavesdrop. When he realizes that Naomi slept with Archer he finally speaks up. He is not okay with the situation! Unlucky Archer happens in just then and walks straight into Sam's fist. As Archer collapses on the floor, everyone rushes out of their offices to see what the problem is. And by everyone I am including Violet who ominously leaves her office door open revealing the all you can eat cupcake buffet waiting in the conference room. After nine seconds, Addison notices Mr. Cupcake feasting on Maya. Panic and overreaction ensues, spearheaded by Dell dragging Mr. Cupcake out by his ear, Sam berating Mr. Cupcake for coming near his daughter, Naomi demanding Maya tell her if he touched her, and everyone else running around waving their arms screaming.

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Private Practice

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