Private Practice

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LuluBates: B | Grade It Now!
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SWAT a WASP

The show opens with that mediocre California pop song about stealing sunshine that even I know is at least three years old. It's too soon to be retro and too old to be interesting. Get with it, music department! It's like they're not even trying. Addison and SWAT are making out while they walk to her house after go-cart racing. When Addison claims it was better than sex, I start to doubt my long-lasting affinity for SWAT. Oh who are we kidding, SWAT is no Christopher. Mid-grope Addison notices that her front door is open. SWAT gets all SWAT-y, pulls the gun from the ankle holster (he took that go-cart racing??), and storms the house. He finds a couple making out on the kitchen floor. It's Addison's brother Archer! Played by Grant Show! I honestly don't know if moving from Swingtown to this is a step up or a step down. I do miss the moustache though. Addison makes hasty introductions, while both men holster their weapons.

Elsewhere, Pete opens his door to find Meg standing on his porch. I guess Botswana wasn't all it was cracked up to be. She just wanted to surprise him! He's surprised, horny and surprised. She has another surprise for him too. At first I think she is going to announce she's pregnant, but instead she lifts her sleeve to reveal a nicotine patch. They grope each other in glee.

Archer is still getting dressed, in fact he is buttoning his fly while talking to his sister, which seems inappropriate for a reserved WASP. The blonde he was defiling on his sister's floor is nowhere to be seen. Archer is just in town for a publishing party. He left a successful career as a neurologist to write books about his patients. Archer teases Addison about her alarm system, her cop boyfriend, and her desertion of all things civilized. Addison snarks that he is just there to spy on her for their mother, a woman who WASPily insists that they call her Busy. And! And he's not a cop, he's SWAT! Archer laughs, "Wait 'til I tell her a Forbes Montgomery is dating a cop. No offense." SWAT claims none taken, but we all know where this is going. Don't we? We do. We see this plot twist signaling from the path through the mountains about two miles off. It's a-comin' this way.

Violet is uncomfortably testifying in a pedophile's trial. Man, Violet gets the really uplifting storylines. Violet claims that she and Mr. Perv never talked about his inappropriate feelings toward minors and she only saw him three times anyway. When she is done with her testimony she goes to leave, but the judge stops her. I'm not sure, but I think the judge is Miss Patty from The Gilmore Girls. She looks skinny, but I think it's her. I wonder if SWAT/Christopher got her the part? Aw... crushing on him again!

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Private Practice

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