Private Practice

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B- | Grade It Now!
Sadists, Sociopaths, and Surgeries... Oh My!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Sam and Naomi are having girl-on-top sex in charmingly color-coordinated sheets and I really wish I didn't have to watch. But I do it for you! I don't know why the show has to start like that. I so prefer medical dramas to open-mouthed PG sex scenes. Maybe they are trying to rope the husbands in with the first minute? Or merely trying to justify their nine o'clock start time? Whatever, it's gross. Sam collapses off of Naomi and decides that now is a great moment to bring up financial modeling for the firm. He uses fundraising techniques as pillow talk? Seriously cuts down on his sex appeal if you ask me. Naomi is equally unimpressed and audibly rolls her eyes as we cut to the next scene. Addison is jogging in a sweatshirt in the gym and Pete comes in and uses the treadmill next to her. Are they members at the same gym? Or is this gym in the office building? Pete is surprised to see her so early and she confesses that she is running to get away from it all. Naomi still isn't talking to her outside the office. With that admission, Addison turns up the speed of the treadmill. Pete asks if he is old. From this Addison surmises that he slept with the temp. You know, Addison, if this surgery thing doesn't work out, I'm sure we could find a spot for you on the Venice boardwalk. Pete confirms his lechery and she snorts derisively. He turns up the treadmill. To 11. Seriously. Addison reconsiders the situation and decides that she is glad he at least is putting himself out there. He asks after her police officer and she admits that he didn't call and then she did and left a long, rambling, embarrassing message. She turns her treadmill up to 12. He laughs that at least the cop didn't call her old. He then adds, but the temp did say I was great. For some reason this makes Addison stop running and fall off the treadmill. Or maybe she had a stroke. Whatever.

Cooper and Charlotte are in the bathtub. Man, this show is like a montage of ickiness tonight. Who has time for leisurely lovey dovey baths in the morning? Cooper is rambling about Oceanside's financial meltdown and how it is his fault and how he will be the first fired. Anyone care? I didn't think so. Not even Charlotte. She gets up, wraps a towel around her soapy self and goes to work. I wish I could do that. Get up and leave, not bathe with Cooper. Ick.

Addison is in the hospital because of her treadmill-induced knee injury. It looks like she scraped it. Barely. In order to explain this completely unlikely scenario, the writers have Addison explain to Dell, who is now working at the hospital as a scrub nurse or orderly or in some such caregiver capacity, that she didn't want to get the Band Aid put on her owie at the office because the hospital is her happy place. Is that what the ladies are calling it these days? Dell asks after the office, but Addison knows he means Naomi. Their not at all interesting conversation is interrupted by Charlotte, who somehow sensed that Addison was seeking respite in the ghoulish greenish walls and florescent light of the emergency room happy place. One of Charlotte's surgeons just called out and she wants Addison to scrub in on something called a myectomy, which Google tells me is an excision of a portion of a muscle. That procedure sounds so dull that even Addison turns it down, despite the promise of an all-day OR-fest. She is going to have fun at her day job.

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Private Practice




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