Private Practice

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Euthanasia Euphemism
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Violet is suffering from a postmodern Hopper-esque frumpiness -- eating Chinese alone on the couch and talking to her television. When the phone rings she thinks it is Cooper, but it's Doug. Doug? When Violet rushes to Doug's house she is greeted at the door and quickly follows him upstairs. She doesn't notice that he is covered in blood and carrying a gun, so we can cross "attention to detail" off of Violet's list of attributes. When the gun is waved in her face and Doug's wife appears to be headless, Violet finally realizes that something is horribly wrong in the House of Doug. Sam and Cooper play racquetball and wish their ex-wives/ex-girlfriends were dead. Seriously! What a perfect segue! Artfully done, writers! Mid-game Sam gets a call and runs off. Meg and Pete discuss how bored she is. She is bored enough to jog, which I think we can all agree is really bored. She's been jogging so much her thighs ache! Oh, I smell a dirty insinuation in the works. Pete hugs her and tells her he knows it is frustrating being in a new place. Then he offers to hurt her thighs in non-running ways. I knew it! I love this show. Addison gives SWAT a sponge bath. He complains about it. As if!

Doug is still covered in blood. Sam can't figure out why Doug shot his wife. Doug claims a shot in the head is way faster than hemlock tea for those inclined to assisted suicide. Sam scratches his head and suggests that palliative care may have been a slightly better option than shooting his wife in the head. But Sam, it's no fun to watch Reiki massage, pain management therapies, and acupuncture! A bullet to the head is quality television! The cops are already at the house. They ask Sam and Violet for their thoughts on the situation. As Doug's therapist, Violet refuses to say anything. Sam as Doug's now-deceased wife's doctor feels more at liberty to discuss the fact that Karen and Doug had a troubled marriage and Doug was planning on leaving her before she was diagnosed. Violet cuts off Sam. Their conversations were privileged. The cops take Doug away. Sam is not at all happy about any of this. Violet is very calm and collected, though.

Cooper is patiently waiting for the elevator when Charlotte enters the lobby. Man does he wish she was dead, or what? Cooper claims the elevator is his territory and she has to use the stairs. Charlotte tells him he has one more day to grovel in his immaturity, and then he has to grow up and discuss the situation. He tells her to go to hell and he enunciates it really, really clearly so she doesn't miss a syllable.

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Private Practice

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