Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 4 USERS: A+
The Non-Secret Keepers

Julia comes home and Joel immediately ambushes her with the news that all of the parents at school are talking about how she gave Boobs McGee attitude and also fake soup, when she requested only homemade goods. Because when people are volunteering to help you, it just makes sense to put out criteria about what kind of help you will or will not accept. Julia denies it, and complains that she took three hours off work to take care of someone who had a boob job. Apparently, there was a receipt floating in it. Julia realizes that she's busted and she and Joel both start laughing. Joel says that he got a lot of icy stares when he picked Syd up from school, and asks Julia to make it better. At least he recognizes how absurd the whole thing is, and Julia agrees to do it, for him, not for Boobs McGee.

Crosby brings Jasmine breakfast in bed, and shows her an article he found in the newspaper about the Alvin Ailey dance troupe, the one Jasmine is auditioning for. Isn't Jasmine a little...old to be still trying to make it as a professional dancer? Anyway, Crosby was surprised to find out that the troupe is in New York. Jasmine looks busted but then says that everyone knows that. Crosby wonders if maybe this is something they should have discussed beforehand, since it would mean Jasmine and Jabbar would move across the country. Jasmine assures him that she's not going to get the job, and Crosby wants to talk about what would happen if she did. Jasmine refuses, since she's sure she's not going to get it, and distracts Crosby by asking for a foot massage. You guys, do you think she might get it and Crosby will have to make a decision? I think that might happen. Because I've watched television before.

Julia returns to the scene of the crime as Boobs taste-tests the soup like she's a judge on Top Chef, and announces that it tastes homemade. Julia, over it, says that she heard Boobs complained to the school about it. Boobs is like, "I have to be really careful about processed foods since my surgery." Yes, because she had those all-natural organic breast implants put in. Julia, now REALLY over it, points out that it was elective surgery, and that Boobs has some nerve asking for help from the school because she wanted bigger breasts. Boobs says that she knew Julia had an attitude, and she's prejudiced against small-breasted women. Julia can't believe what she's hearing, so she says she has to go, because she has a real crisis at home to deal with, and then blurts out that her parents are splitting up. Boobs suddenly softens and Julia realizes that slipped out, but it seems to thaw things between them. Boobs asks if Julia's dad had an affair, and Julia says no (she doesn't know, right?). Boobs says that her husband left her for a younger woman, which is part of the reason she got new boobs, and she's really struggling with how to put herself out there again. She concludes, "Imagine what it's gotta be like for you mom." And Julia learns a lesson.

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