Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 4 USERS: A+
The Non-Secret Keepers

Amber is living my high school nightmare, running on the track. Well, she's actually walking on the track and looking really winded. I remember doing the twelve-minute run in high school and everyone else would be sprinting around and meanwhile I had a stitch in my side and wanted to die. So Amber, I feel you. She spots Haddie and three friends wearing their soccer uniforms and walking across the infield. Why are they going to a soccer game while Amber is in gym class? I don't know. Couldn't they have just been in her gym class too? Anyway, Amber walks toward them for some unknown reason, looking wary, and Haddie tells her friends to just keep walking. Except one of them spits out, "Bitch," as they walk by. Amber turns and gets into it with them. After insulting her choice of gym apparel, one of them just comes out with it: "How could you sleep with your cousin's boyfriend?" Well, he wasn't technically her boyfriend at the time, although I think Friends has taught us that "We were on a break" doesn't usually fly as an excuse. Anyway, the girls all start talking over one another but basically Amber says she'd like to talk about it with Haddie privately, but Haddie says that these are her friends, the ones who didn't sleep with her boyfriend. Amber finally yells it out, "I'm sorry, but I had a connection with him that you didn't have. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, but that's the way that it is." Haddie looks humiliated, realizing that Amber's totally right. But then one of Haddie's friends douses Amber with the contents of her water bottle, and it degenerates into a scuffle with Amber and Haddie rolling around on the ground. A coach breaks it up and escorts the girls to the office, Amber furious, Haddie sobbing. Can I ask why no one is blaming Steve in all this?

Adam, Kristina, and Sarah are in the principal's office. The principal explains that he likes both girls, and normally they would suspend them for fighting, but he can let them go with a promise that it won't happen again. Because they're related? I don't know. After promising, the parents all leave with the girls but once they're out in the hallway, Sarah says that she wants to hash it out right now, while they're all there, so there are no future misunderstandings. Amber starts begging Haddie not to tell the parents what happened while everyone talks over one another and finally Adam yells at them all to shut up. He asks Haddie to explain. Haddie looks terrified but also sort of excited to get retribution and unsure of how to handle it. She says, "Amber told me to break up with Steve (cue Amber looking shocked at this oversimplification) and then she had sex with him." Everyone starts yelling again. Adam's reaction face is awesome, actually. Shocked, indignant, but maybe a little bit amused. Haddie takes off one way and Amber takes off the other. Kristina seems pissed at Amber, and Sarah by extension as she chases her daughter. Adam and Sarah are left alone in the hallway. Sarah tries to apologize and Adam decides that they need to be the adults in this situation, whatever that means. Then Amber yells at Sarah to come on, and Kristina comes back for Adam, furious, so this isn't good.

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