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You're Bound to Lose Control When the Rubberband Starts to Jam

Moments later as Damian is tearing ass across the driveway, Sarah and Zeek are tearing into Amber. "Why is everyone yelling at me?" Amber demands as Zeek asks who the hell that is running half-naked through his yard. Um, they are yelling at you, because you are in trouble! "Calm down, Grandpa!" Amber whines, and I want to choke her. Sarah pushes Zeek out, saying she'll take care of it, and it must take all her strength not to throw Amber out the window. Instead, with utmost caring, she says she knows Amber is really mad at her, about Mr. Cyr. Amber soaking wet and wearing a robe having just been caught in flagrante by her own mom, tries to shrug it off. "It's fine," she says. "I don't care." Sarah has tears in her eyes. They moved from Fresno so that Amber could have a better life, she says, and she knows she pulled her away from things there, Damian being one of the biggest. "And then to have him here, in the shower," Sarah says, still sad, but incredulous. "Come on, Amber. Don't screw everything up for yourself just because you're mad at me!" Amber cries that this has nothing to do with Sarah. "Not everything I do is about you!" she says. Oh, girl. Yes, it is. "I love him!" she continues, pure Juliette-style. "And he loves me!" Sarah can't take it. "Oh, God," she cries. "Why do you insist on making every mistake I made?!" Amber sighs and as much as I was ready to bag her, before, now she breaks my heart. "You know, every time you talk about your life being a mistake," she sobs, "all I hear is that my whole existence is a mistake!" Sarah says oh, no, that's not at all what she meant or feels, but Amber begs her to leave, saying she just can't talk to her right now. OH, PEOPLE. Being a girl is very hard. No offense to the gorgeous Alexis Bledel who played Lauren Graham's daughter for a million seasons on Gilmore Girls, but, wow. Mae Whitman + L.G. is a mother/daughter tour de force. "Honey, I don't want to leave you so upset," Sarah cries. But Amber says she really wants to be alone. Sarah apologizes again, with more tears, at the door, and Amber cries that it's fine, but to leave her alone. I ain't ashamed: I had to pause and cry. We need to just come up with some shorthand for those pause and cry moments. P&C.

Over at Julia's, Sydney is begging Joel not to take any rubber bands off her precious ball. "Because I've got 'em all counted up!" she says, to Joel's confusion, and lists the numbers of all the colors of rubber bands. There are 18 blue, 53 reds, and 118 browns. "There's too many browns," she says, panicky, trying to grab the ball from him. "I don't want the brown rubber bands to take over! I want my ball!" Joel shoots a worried look at Julia, who finally intervenes. "It's staying right here," she says, forcefully, as Sydney whines and tries to grab it off the table. Finally, she promises that they won't touch the ball or change it, overnight, and demands that Sydney go upstairs with Joel to get ready for bed. The Js exchange very worried looks.

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