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You're Bound to Lose Control When the Rubberband Starts to Jam

Later, Adam runs all of this by Crosby. "He said 'acumen'? " Crosby asks, as he repairs his motorcycle in Adam's driveway. Of course he has a motorcycle. Adam says he's thinking his dad might be setting him up to try to get him to go in on a piece of vacation real estate. "He tried to sell it to me as father and son time," he says. Crosby: "Yikes." But, wait -- speaking of f & s time, Crosby needs advice in that arena. Seems Jasmine has just sent him an invitation to Jabbar's birthday... in the mail. Adam, superdad, weirdly shrugs it off. Crosby asks if he doesn't think it's weird that he's just received an invitation to his own son's birthday party, like he's an acquaintance. Adam harshly jokes that Crosby is lucky to be invited at all, and I presume he means after the time Crosby spent with Boobs Johannsen last week. Crosby, rightly defensive, says he has been spending a lot of time with Jabbar and that Jabbar knows him pretty well, now. "So, if I don't plan this party, he's going to sense that," Crosby says. Huh? The five-year-old is going to sense who is planning his party? No, if you don't show UP, he might notice, but... whatever, that makes no sense. Adam tells him to call Jasmine and tell her he wants to be a part of the planning. Crosby says Jasmine has been sending him mixed messages, though, one day wanting him to be a dad, the next keeping him at arm's length. Adam, cracking open a beer, says well, Crosby should call her and say, "Jasmine, I want in." He pauses and smirks. "Except, don't use those words." Crosby rolls his eyes. "I don't get it," he snarks. "Is there a sexual joke in there?" Um, IS there? There really isn't. Am I deaf, or something? I guess so, because Adam laughs like he's Don Rickles roasting Merv Griffin.

Speaking of sex, though, poor Sarah is about to get the shock of her life. Coming into the bathroom to find some toothpaste, she hears Amber in the shower. "Do you have the toothpaste in there?" Sarah asks, casually, and, as Amber quickly begins protesting for her to no, wait, nooooooo, Sarah -- who for years will probably only remember this in slow motion -- pulls back the shower curtain a little bit. To find DAMIAN. In the shower. With her daughter. Hilarity ensues, and by hilarity I mean everybody screams and freaks out. "NO!" Sarah screams. To Amber: "YOU'RE DEAD!" To Damian: "YOU GET OUT! NO, NOT NOW! LATER!" As she runs from the bathroom: "AAAAIIIIEEEERRRGHH!" Amber looks at Damian. "We're screwed," she says. Yes, indeed. Let's review where your faithful recapper would be should she have been caught, at age... anything... showering with her boyfriend in her grandparent's house: in a steel coffin at the bottom of the sea. What unbelievable nerve Amber must have. Well, scratch that, 15-year-olds don't even need nerves -- they are too stupid to need them.

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