Parenthood

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Fever All Through the Night!
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A ceramic tragedy has occurred at Julia's. A vase is broken on the floor, and no one is 'fessing up. Sydney claims the neighbor's dog, Skippy, ran into the house and knocked it down. Julia reminds her that the neighbor's don't have a dog anymore. "Skippy came back," Sydney says, shrugging. Julia takes a deep breath. "Skippy... went to the country after that thing with the car?" she says. "I don't think he's coming back." Sydney shrugs again: "Well, he did." Joel silently gets a broom and starts to sweep up the broken vase. Julia stops him in a tone one reserves for use when you catch a cat about to pee on your furniture. "Joel, stop," she commands. "Whoever broke the vase will clean it up." Sydney raises her eyebrows. "Skippy doesn't know how to clean, Mom," she says. Julia: "Skippy didn't break the vase, Bug." Sydney again insists that he did. Julia takes another deep breath and says there's no excuse for lying. "But, you're a liar," Sydney says. Julia: "No, baby, I'm a lawyer." Very officiously, Sydney announces that Harmony's mom -- a.k.a. the oversexed Raquel -- says liars and lawyers are the same thing. Julia is going to need a paper bag soon, with all these deep breaths she's taking. She clears her throat. "Just tell me the truth," she finally says, pulling herself together. "Did you break the vase?" Sydney looks her right in the eye. "No," she says. "Did you?" Damn, kid. That's ballsy.

Drew's back! Drew's back! I don't know why we haven't seen him in weeks, but I am so excited to report that Drew is back and roaming the halls of his high school, being awesome. Or, you know, slouching around being unsure of himself, but still: awesome. I love Drew. He lightly brushes his Emo Bangs to the side -- not too much! -- and uncomfortably nods at a cute girl a few lockers down from his. She asks him about a biology test, which gives him just enough confidence to make a snarky comment about the freshman dance planned for that night. "Actually," she says, "I was gonna go. I mean, why not, right?" Drew, painfully, says, "Right...," aware that he's gotten it wrong, yet again. Y'all, even if you're cool, it's hard to be cool. Especially if you don't know you're cool. Which you are.

Later, Amber follows him around the house, trying to tell him what to wear to this dance, in order to impress the girl. "You've had a crush on Lindsay for like, for ever," Amber says, "and if you don't look good, she's not gonna be into you!" Drew is arguing all these points when they are interrupted by Sarah, who drops a stack of catalogues on the bed in front of Amber. "I need to you to pick five schools," she says with no preamble. "Because we are going on your college tour." Amber is surprised, and says she thought they couldn't afford the college tour. "Well, I picked up extra shifts," Sarah says, "because I think it's important." P.S., she adds, they're both going to earn money tomorrow night when Amber comes with her to work a catering gig at Cal. "It's a poetry reading," she says, in response to which Amber snorts that she'd rather sell an organ. "Well, if you don't change that attitude, it may come to that," Sarah says, "because I don't think you need both livers, anyway." This kicks off a mother/daughter tirade, with Amber asking what makes Sarah think that serving canapés to English majors will inspire her to go to college, and Sarah bitching that this, her junior year, is the year these decisions get made. "This is the year that will be the difference between 'Paging Dr. Braverman,' and 'Do you want fries with that?'" Cute, but isn't Amber's last name Holt, not Braverman? Perhaps Sarah is remembering her own misspent junior year. Meanwhile, Drew has been waiting patiently with his laundry basket, trying to figure out what to wear to his dumb dance. They finally all agree on one t-shirt that looks like all his other t-shirts and Sarah goes out as loudly and as quickly as she came, urging him to wear it with a blazer. "You look so cute in a blazer!" she says, and gives him a smooch.

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Parenthood

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