Once Upon a Time
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Fairy Tales Can Come True
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Welcome to our first recap of ABC's Once Upon A Time. The pilot episode drew 12.8 million viewers, making it the highest rated new series premiere this fall. Since this is the pilot recap, and I have no backstory to review, let's get right to it, shall we?

Once Upon A Time, so the prologue goes... There was an enchanted forest filled with all the classic characters we know. Or think we know. One day, they found themselves trapped in a place where all their happy endings were stolen. Our world. This is how it happened...

Enchanted Forest: We open on Prince Charming (Joshua Dallas) riding hell-for-leather on his trusty steed. At last he reaches a clearing in the woods, where the Seven Dwarfs surrounding Snow White's hand-crafted casket inform him he's too late. Charming begs them to open the glass lid, anyhow. Moved by his tears and his request to say goodbye, they do as he asks. He bends over and kisses Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) on the lips. Rainbows and sparkles shoot out of them and ripple all over the Enchanted Forest. Snow White awakens. "You found me." Charming asks if she doubted he would. Snow White: "Truthfully, the glass coffin gave me pause." Charming reassures her, "I will always find you." Snow asks, "Do you promise?" We cut to their...

Wedding: Charming answers, "I do." The Enchanted Forest is a diverse forest. The African-American, or I guess that would be African Enchanted-Forestian bishop pronounces them husband and wife. Why does Snow White's hair look like several of her woodland friends nest in it? It looked better when she was dead. And what's with her wedding gown? It looks like Puss-In-Boots attacked her while she was trying on a Swan Lake costume. Don't get me wrong, overall, the pilot is beautifully shot, but I am deeply disappointed in our Primary Princess's hair and wardrobe.

It's not long before Snow's wicked step-mother, the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla), crashes the wedding as Evil Queens are wont to do. You can tell she's evil because she's dressed all in black and is wearing a push-up bra, or well... probably a corset. The Enchanted Forestians panic. After Queenie magically throws off two rushing guards, a dwarf runs up to Snow and says, "It's the Queen. Run!" Yeah, I think she knows her own stepmother, buster. Snow draws Charming's sword from its sheath (not a euphemism; this is a family show). "She's not a Queen, anymore. She's nothing more than an evil witch." Charming tells Snow not to stoop to the Queen's level, and then tells the Queen that she's wasting her time. She has already lost, and he will not let her ruin the wedding.

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Once Upon a Time

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