Once and Again
Destiny Turns On The Radio

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Destiny Turns On The Radio

Behind them, Dr. Snyderman starts ranting at one of her callers. "Now what is your stupid question?" she huffs, leaning heavily against her desk. The caller starts stammering that she's been dating a man, but Snyderman cuts her off, snapping, "Dating? Or shacking up?" Her contempt is palpable. Lily and the Curmudgeon glance toward the booth. Lily mutters, "She's so mean." The Curmudgeon retorts, "She's worse than mean. She's wacko." He marches toward the booth.

Meanwhile, over at Sammler and Associates, Rick's being besieged by another wacko. Namely, Karen, who's berating him for letting Jessie go on the date. She demands, "And when exactly was this decision made?" Rick struggles for patience and tries to give her some perspective: "Karen, it's a date. Not Vatican II." Karen's not amused. She mutters a veiled threat, saying, "Don't put me in a position where I have to take action." Rick jumps at this: "Action? What action, Karen?" Karen complains that she doesn't want to keep having "this conversation" with him "over and over." He tells her not to, then. She whisper-yells that she has to: "I am being completely left out of the decision-making process!" The ass-pole lets out a whoop. Rick tries to explain that there wasn't exactly a formal decision-making process; Jessie simply told them about the date at dinner. Karen's fighting hard not to lose it as the ass-pole whips itself into a frenzy. She whisper-shrieks, "I don't care!" For six square blocks, dogs writhe and whimper at the sound. Rick keeps yammering that Jessie may not even go, while Karen fumes on about being left out. They finish griping at the same time and stare at one another. After a second, Karen asks, "So, have you at least laid eyes on this boy?" Rick easily lies that he has. He sits at his desk and fidgets with some papers to avoid her laser-beam eyeballs. "So, what's he like?" she finally asks. "Oh, you know. Swarthy. A convicted felon." Hey! Isn't that a bit insulting to swarthy people? There are pasty convicts, too, you know. The ass-pole isn't immune to Rick's "charms," however, and decides to save its fight for another day. "So, does she really like him, or something?" Karen asks weakly, as though terrified of the answer. Rick says he guesses so. Karen wearily rests against the edge of Rick's desk, sighing and asking, "How did we get here?" Rick sighs, too, and says he doesn't know.

"So just because Karen heard about this from my big-mouthed sister?" Lily asks, as we cut to her and Rick's bedroom. Rick assures her it has "nothing to do with [her] big-mouthed sister." Lily yanks back the duvet and half-asks, "Rick, you're going to let her go, right?" Rick mutters something about not even knowing the boy. "His name is Tad. What more do you need to know?" Lily asks. You know, stressing the fact that the kid has a name like a porn star probably isn't helping any. I'm just saying. Lily plunks herself on the edge of the bed, rubbing her eye and complaining that it makes "a squeaking sound" when she rubs it. Rick immediately scurries over to her, asking to hear it. She obligingly keeps rubbing and asks if he hears it. "No, but I do hear the ocean," he quips. Heh. Finally. Only 748 more digs, and he'll have evened the score. Rick leans back against the headboard and tries to explain his reservations, conceding that he knows Lily will say that Jessie's social life is expanding, and that it's a good thing. Lily snuggles against his shoulder and interjects that it is a good thing. He continues, saying that he's happy for Jessie, but Lily interrupts to say that she doesn't think he is. She thinks he and Karen feel threatened because Jessie is growing up. Rick insists that he doesn't mind Jessie growing up; he just doesn't want her to change. "You know what often stops an eye from squeaking?" he asks a second later. Lily bites. "Intercourse," Rick says. Ick. That's a turn-off with a capital "off." ["If intercourse has any effect on Lily's eye, I don't think they're doing it right." -- Wing Chun] Luckily for him, Lily doesn't seem to think so.

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Once and Again




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