On The Lot
Episode 6

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Episode 6

Next up is David, the "self-proclaimed nerd." In his video package he tells us he thinks Kenny is his toughest competition, and that his film "Love At First Shot," is, true to his nerdly persona, about how tough it can be to talk to women at first. In the film, this geeky guy is boring the hell out of his date by explaining how a warp drive works. When she excuses herself to powder her nose or possibly arrange a fake-emergency phone call, our geek places a call to an all-business Cupid. There's a whole lot of business to do with Cupid's arrow missing the girl and him trying to go undercover to retrieve it, but in the meantime, he advises Geek to just let the girl talk for once, and when he does, we realize she's secretly a RPG-style geek as well. Aw! Carrie lets loose with this: "If you're going to be derivative, it should be a little more original." Indeed, Carrie. She suggests Cupid could have worn a "diaper." David's like, "Hmmm, yes, maybe." You'd have thought Carrie Fisher of all people would have connected with the story of a girl who had to put up with nerds talking about warp drives all day, but maybe that twist ending lost her? Frankel didn't think it was funny, and found it too disconnected in terms of style, which is about right. He does advance the argument that "ambiguity is the enemy of all filmmaking," and while I think I get what he's saying -- a little more clarity would have helped David immensely -- it still sounds pretty anti-art. Garry found it "beautifully to look at [sic]," but his pacing was terrible. He jokes that the judges could've written a pilot in between the funny moments. Adrianna awkwardly makes it to center stage -- this lady moves like she's constantly Elaine Dancing, it's the most fascinating thing -- and jokes about how Garry said David didn't earn a hug from her this time.

Shira-Lee is next, looking like Linda Blair crossed with a crazier-eyed version of Linda Blair. She tells us that her film is about the struggles of getting back into the dating world after having a kid, and she cast her son to play the child in the film. She tells us she thinks Zach is "the one to beat in this competition." Her film is called "Beeline," and her kid? Suuuucks. Cute as a button, though. He plays a kid who (LOUDLY!) asks his single mom over breakfast how many men she's had sex with since she split up with his dad. She won't say, but he's determined to find out. This leads Mom to make a "beeline" (see?) to everyone she's slept with -- a fellow parent, a doorman, ...uh...Lita Ford? -- so she can tell them to clam up when she and the kid are around, so he doesn't catch wise. In the end, all the kid wants is a PlayStation 3, so the Mom gladly buys her child's silence. As all good parents eventually do. Carrie calls the movie "Slut Mom," but endearingly so, if you can believe that. She says to make it as a woman director one needs to be "great" and Shira-Lee was "...very good." I have to say, after all the hubbub about Carrie's word sputterings in previous weeks, she seems remarkably tight-lipped this week. Frankel seemed to like everything about the film and calls is the best of the night thus far. Garry says you shouldn't let kids smile in your films -- which explains a lot about Raising Helen, if you think about it -- but otherwise he thought the production values were great, and her pacing really showed up the two previous guys. "Good one for the girls," he condescends, like he's playing his character from A League Of Their Own all of a sudden.

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On The Lot




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