Off the Map

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Joe R: C | Grade It Now!
On the Mean Streets of San Miguel

Mina, true to her fears, did end up on dental duty, and it's probably worse than she'd feared since she's playing hygienist to the real dentist, played by Ed Begley Jr. He pulls some kid's tooth while he yammers pleasantly enough about how his fourth marriage ended and inspired him to move to paradise and party with the locals. His next patient is your prototypical Kindly Old Man. A gringo, but clearly this man has been a part of the community for a long time -- indeed, he's spent 64 years teaching the school children around here. Abuelito, as he's called, walks up literally surrounded by adoring kids, so if you've ever seen a movie or TV show before, you know something's up with him. Abuelito makes a show of going first, so the other kids aren't scared. Mina takes a look in his mouth and is impressed with his gold fillings -- obviously you don't see those much anymore. But she also spots a lesion on his soft palate, and when Dr. Ed Begley Jr. goes to probe it, it ruptures and starts hemorrhaging like a motherfucker. Mina immediately springs into action, calling for suction and yelling out for someone in the clinic to prepare the ER.

After the title card, we're with Lily and a patient who's come in for a checkup on a leg infection. But this lady pretty much just wants to gossip about what a hottie Dr. Ben is. Lily doesn't appear to see how weird it is that she's become this expert on Dr. Ben's love life -- what with the dead wife and all. She also doesn't seem to notice how blushy she gets when she starts talking about how Dr. Ben is so brave for not only persevering but now he's "saving the world" here at the clinic. To be honest, I'm amazed Lily can see anything with that lock of hair hanging stylishly over her eye like it is. She does manage to notice that her patient's leg is awfully red, and when she pulls off the bandage to have a look, the infection has obviously gotten worse.

Elsewhere, Mina has gotten Abuelito's bleeding under control. She's taking a quick biopsy of one of the lesions, though, and considering the hospital gown he's wearing, it doesn't look like he'll be going anywhere anytime soon. He's also got a gaggle of little kids outside his room clamoring for news on their beloved Abuelito, and while Mina shuts the blinds on them, she's sweet as she remarks to Abuelito about his fan base. She asks if he was a teacher back home too, and he says back in Budapest he wanted to, but he never got the chance due to "stupid mistakes" he made in his youth. He remarks that he thinks he's got cancer, to which Mina smirks that it doesn't matter what he thinks, since she's the one with the medical degree. He smiles and says she's a sassy blonde, just like his wife.

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Off the Map




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