Off the Map

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | Grade It Now!
On the Mean Streets of San Miguel

Lily's apparently made it back from San Miguel and is now bellies up to the bar at the cantina. She's finding her wallet wanting, at the moment, and while she's trying to charade her way through "running tab," a handsome stranger steps up to pay for her drink. His name is Mateo, and he's played by Nicholas Gonzalez, the miniature-sized hottie of my dreams and my beloved Yard Guy from The O.C.. She recaps her day for him -- the parts that don't include Dr. Ben's undead wife, anyway -- and she tosses in the loose-end-tying nugget that her staph patient will probably not lose her leg now. Mateo is impressed and likely smitten and offers to buy Lily another beer so they can keep talking. Oh, Mateo, you are likely just a stumbling block on the inevitable road to "Bily," but I am rooting for you.

The next morning, Dr. Ben returns, and while he's not happy when Lily tells him about bribing the customs guy, she manages to make a decent case for how she did what she had to do for her patient and for the clinic. Just like him. The fact that she's not so much as looking in Ben's direction, much less staring dreamily into his eyes, tells you that she's definitely been rocked by this week's revelations. But she still clearly gets a thrill when he remarks that she's learning to survive out here. "Welcome to the jungle, right?" she half-sarcastically offers. "That's my line," he says. Oh, we KNOW.

Cole and Clark are leading the team that's wheeling Herr Abuelito to the army chopper, with Mina trailing not far behind. The village children, like a pack of unsupervised little monsters, bound out of the jungle asking (adorably) if Abuelito is okay and when he's coming back. Clark snottily relays this to Mina, all "Tell them, I'll translate." As if Clark wouldn't have been faced with a similarly terrifying prospect in explaining to them that Abuelito had died. Mina, because she's at least part human, lies and says that Abuelito has a tooth infection, and they're taking him away to fix it, and he'll be back soon. I am somehow reminded of when the Grinch told that little Who girl that he was taking her Christmas tree away so he could fix a light bulb on it, but regardless, good for Mina! Her heart grew .0003 sizes that day!

Cole returns to Zee and her garden, clutching at his jaw more than ever. They banter a bit about what a baby he is, causing Zee to get sentimental and ask, "What are we doing?" "We're friends," Cole smirks. "Who are...having sex." Zee covers pretty well, saying that's what she thought too. She makes one more command for him to see that dentist before he leaves. Then she wanders off to find Clark once again making that underbrush pay with her machete. Clark sees Zee's stricken face and asks what happened, but there's no answer. There's just Zee taking the machete and getting her frustrations out. So much better than talking about it like an adult!

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Off the Map




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