NYPD Blue
Writing Wrongs

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Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now!
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Writing Wrongs

No fucking nudity again? This show is so losing it.

Previously, Sip gets railroaded into a date, which he'd refuse "even if she were Zsa Zsa Gabor;" Sip goes on the date, is rude, and apologizes; Di gives Ricky some wound-salting in the locker room and he punches a locker and cries like an ittle wittle baby-kins. All he wanted was a chance! Just one chaaance!

Crime scene! This one actually freaks me out because it's set in an outer (gritty!) basement area, below sidewalk level, where apartment buildings store their trashcans and stuff. This particular spot looks a little like Philly, and when we see the body of a young woman shoved in with the trash, I flash back to a few years ago when a woman was sexually assaulted and killed -- her head nearly severed from her body -- early one morning as she was jogging, just a few blocks from her apartment. Her name was Kimberly Earnest, but the tabloids called this the Center City Jogger case. One thing I learned after that was that a lot of rapes are committed in the early hours, like between 4 and 6 AM, after the freaks have been out all night getting high or whatever. Creepy. Anyway, Baldwin, Di, and Medavoy canvass the area without much luck. The victim's throat is bruised a sickly-looking purple, her (clean) panties have been tugged down around her ankles, and her book bag doesn't contain much info except for her name written in a book: Alyssa. Baldwin reads the emblem on her school blazer: "Quisque pro omnibus." Di knows this means "something for everyone." Wow, what kind of weak school logo is that? Nothing about learning, or knowledge, or a lamp, or veritas, or some such classical baloney? This must be one of those fancy prep schools, the students of which I resent so much. I learned circles around those bougie brats at my state school! You're damn tootin'. I learned real good. Got edumacated. And shit. Anyways, Baldwin says of Di's recollection of Latin, "The things that stick in your head, huh." Yeah, my head's so sticky it's like a pot of strawberry JAM, man.

Whoosh, the credits; boom boom boom go the gritty gritty drums.

Hey, a Reagan Ville! Though it looks real nice. Thanks, Bill. So yeah, it's a homeless person's camp, all set up under a maze of bridges. One tent has a TV antenna sticking out of it. The hell? Ricky and Sip push past yellow caution tape and get the low-down from the uniforms there: a "looney-tuner" flagged them down after discovering a strangled male corpse near his tent. Sip goes over to talk to the guy. Ricky stays behind and learns that about fifteen guys also crash there, "mostly Mexicans." Whatever. The camera waves over to reveal a TELEVISION in the homeless guy's tent. Wow. Could be. Or, "as if," infinity. Sip calls Ricky over and after commenting on the TV setup, makes the Looney-Tuner repeat what he said. He's not unlike Rain Man in his delivery. He's reluctant to repeat himself because he "already said it, it's already out there." Dude, just say it. He saw two guys fighting. Sip suggests he come down to the station with them, and the Looney-Tuner says he has to pack his stuff, then. They argue, he insists, and gets his way after saying "okay" like a million times.

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NYPD Blue

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