NYPD Blue
Stressed For Success

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Stressed For Success

Michelle the shop-owner is giving a description of the beaded-dress thief to Medavoy. And if she ever comes in there with beaded dresses again, just push this secret buzzer and Baldwin will fly in there and bust her in the bazoo. Just kidding. Medavoy says that is must be "disappointing" for her that the rightful-dress owner wasn't more "enthusiastic." No, it's not that: "People in the secondhand biz get pretty good at figuring out people's lives. I was thinking of the mother on her death bed." If she had only acted sooner the mom could have been reunited with her long-lost dresses! Because moms love beaded dresses even more than gay guys do! Boo hoo, it's so sad!

Another montage, this time with Laughlin ambushing the husband outside a bodega and smashing his brown-bagged bottle. Then, to make this scene totally useless, Laughlin tosses some money at the husband's feet. That makes about as much sense as spitting in the wind.

Ricky's in the bar. He orders a Bud. Ah, Bud. King of beers. Heineken! Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon! Sorry, thought I was in Blue Velvet. Laughlin strolls in just as Ricky orders a Jack back on his second beer. They ask each other how it's going. Laughlin says, "Amazing, if you don't mind a world full of assholes." I feel that way sometimes. Ricky gets his Irish up real quick and asks if he and Laughlin are "going to have to throw down." Rumble! Or maybe they could just mambo, like in those fucking Gap ads. Laughlin says "present company excluded" and Ricky simmers down, now. So anyway, Laughlin starts yammering about Mary, and how he had a thing for her, and he hope it's not an issue for Ricky, and Ricky gets snappish again and says something about Laughlin "pissing in [his] ear," and Laughlin gets up but Ricky waves him back: "C'mere. We lose our senses of humor, where are we?" Laughlin agrees, "We're dead." They resume boozing. Laughlin treads on dangerous ground AGAIN, saying, "You know that Kirkendall? Nice rack?" Ricky says, "BE NICE," and Laughlin describes the case she's on. Ricky asks "what the alternative" would be to Kirky's methods of kindness and consideration. Laughlin says without irony or humor, "Give him a beating! I took care of business. I waited for him outside of this liquor store where I know he hangs out and broke his bottle. I humiliated him. He's gonna know I'm on his shoulder. I didn't take this job to let people like that slide." Ricky points out the obvious: "You think that's gonna be comfortable for him, with you on his shoulder like that?" Kirky comes into the bar and says, "She's dead." Laughlin says, "Oh god...he did it?" Duh! It's called cause and effect, look into it. Kirky says, "After you did what you did at the liquor store, he fractured her skull. Now she's dead, he's going to jail, and those kids are going into the system. Nice work, Laughlin." Laughlin resorts to brutality, the only thing he knows, and says, "You're lucky you're not a man." Kirky shoots back, "No, YOU'RE lucky you're not a man, because I'd like to beat your balls off." WOOOOH! "You had problems in your family growing up? Get over it!" Laughlin gets off his stool and says, "The hell with you!" Ricky comes between them as Kirky says, "I know who I am! I'm standing right here in front of you!" Laughlin leaves. Ricky asks if Kirky's all right. She's fine; is Ricky all right? Yeah. She leaves and Ricky continues boozing.

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NYPD Blue

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