In-Laws, Outlaws

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Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now!
In-Laws, Outlaws

This is sweeps, people. You have nudity clauses in the actor's contracts. So why are you holding out on us? Do you want to make us feel bad?

Previously on Blue, we revisited how Ricky started to get the warm fuzzies for Looney-Tunes, and Sip said he's glad Cynthia moved back into the city, because long-distance relationships suck and he's really, really into her. Well, he only said the first part.

The camera waves us all around the city, giving us a nausea-inducing tour: there's the Empire State Building! Now, if you violently whip around, see pigeons flap grittily into the air! Look, a lady at a newsstand, in yet another totally different direction! Finally, we land at -- where else? -- a freakin' crime scene. Sip pulls up and bitches at the waiting Ricky about the price of gas and the nerve of non-English-speaking foreigners. Ricky asks how Sip's date went. Sip holds his finger under Ricky's nose and says, take a whiff and you'll have your answer. I kid. I'm a kidder. Sip says it went well and they're talking about a repeat performance tonight. So, back to business -- there's a DOA in an alleyway of a greasy spoon. The owner had words with him, and some woman has knowledge of what happened as well. Di goes after the lady, and Ricky and Sip get to corpse perusin'. Ricky sees what looks like L-T's overturned shopping cart, and runs to the corpse, covered in a yellow tarp. He rips off the tarp, and it is in fact L-T, dead. Ricky asks, "You know who this is?" Sip's eyes fill with concern as he answers, "Yeah, it's your homeless guy." Ricky sputters that L-T was still supposed to be at the station house, safe in a cell. Now he's dead. Dude.

Di interviews the lady. L-T was eighty-sixed from the greasy spoon for telling the customers, "Don't eat the meat -- it still has feelings." Hee. So L-T was still hanging around in front of the spoon when the owner came out, box cutter in hand (he had actually been cutting boxes), and took him around the corner into the alley. Ricky charges up, all mad that L-T was sprung, and Sip tells him to chill, reminding him L-T may have wanted to leave. Then he barks to the uniforms to be sure L-T's shopping cart is brought back to the station house once the crime scene is secure, and Di and Sip look at him like he just turned into a Sleestack or like he just ate seven McRib sandwiches at one sitting. They both look quite horrified, is what I'm saying.

Ricky busts through the doors of the station house, all creased. He just seems a little uptight, though -- not really ready to go off. A little more wound than usual, but not tightly wound. He's all, why'd L-T get kicked?! The desk sergeant -- a robust-looking soul -- asks what Ricky thinks this is, Mayberry, R.F.D.? A classic show. Medavoy is so totally Barney. The sergeant says that maybe they could leave the keys by the door, so that Ricky's friends can come and go as they like. Sassy. Rick continues to "yell," saying that he could have been notified about L-T's being kicked, because he was killed this morning, most likely from the person he was trying to protect him from by keeping him in the station house. Some uniforms look to see what all the "noise" is about. The sergeant -- who actually raises his voice and gets red-faced -- says that Ricky should have made him a material witness and had L-T loaded somewhere. Ricky says, "Add me to the list of people that think you're an asshole!" Lots of uniforms are looking at them now. Sip comes in and the sergeant bellows, "Get your baby-faced partner away from me!" Yeah! With his breath smelling of silver spoons and shit! Sip hauls Ricky upstairs, asking, "What's the matter with you?" Indeed.

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