Franco, My Dear, I Don't Give A Damn

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C+ | Grade It Now!
New cast member! Her ass is no stranger to the small screen.

Warning: adult language will be used. That means no fucking nudity this week, horn dogs. Go cry a river.

Previously, Ricky suggests he and Diane's abrupt rush between the sheets may be a "one-time only." She agrees, "If you think we can do that." Theo's red blood cell count is "nearly normal" which means, for those of you that don't watch ER, he's cancer-free. Mary, braless, asks if she and Ricky are still on for their date, and he shiftily agrees; Ricky shows up in Di's apartment and they knock boots some more.

The drums pound and boom, the camera waves, and we're in gritty, gritty, New York City again, now, and forever. Ah, New York. I feel really bad I couldn't go up last weekend for Gustave's birthday, but I had tickets to a hockey game and didn't want to bail. That seems lamer in print than it even is, so forgive me, Gustave. Anyway, yellow cabs roll yellowly down the street, and WTF is that? A woman walking her dog wearing an "I (HEART) NY" shirt? I AM SO FUCKING SURE! NO self-respecting New Yorker would be caught DEAD, let alone WALKING THE DOG in one of those tourist-fashion-traps of a shirt! Jesus, Bochco! Anyway, we're in a playground, Katie's cooling her heels chatting with a woman, and the Sip rolls up, trench coated and ready to play family. Katie is surprised to see him, and then introduces him to the woman, Theo's teacher. She hugs Sip warmly, which totally skeeves him out, then says how happy everyone is for them that Theo's okay. Then she reminds him of the open house Thursday. Open house Thursday? Katie says she wrote it on the calendar. Oh yeah, says Sip, heh, I'm a real dad. Theo bounds up and steals my heart all over again and demands ice cream. Katie says not 'til after lunch, but Sip says yeah, sure, why not? Sip leads him off to the edge of the playground and Theo asks, "Why aren't you at work, D-yaddy?" And can I get an "aww!" from everyone at home? Thank you. A cop car wails past them and Theo guesses "someone's in trouble." Then he says he wants to be a cop. Sip does an internal spit-take then asks what happened to being a pilot. Theo says he wants to chase alligators too. Sip, ingraining stereotypes in his son like all good prejudiced dads do, asks, "Like that Australian nutcase?" Theo says yeah. Aww. Then a big giant cop tour bus or something -- riot squad bus? -- screams by them and Theo goes, "Whoa, someone's REALLY in trouble!" Sip flicks on his radio and hears the news: cop shot at Second and B. Katie zips up in time to hear Sip relay the info in his grand Midwestern accent: "Caahp shaaht on Second and B." He takes off, and Theo gnaws at his toasted coconut bar, waving sunnily and says, "Bye d-yaddy!"

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