NYPD Blue
Family Ties

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Medavoy wants some short people to live

Warning: this recap contains adult language and partial nudity. I was partially nude when I wrote it.

Previously: Diane and Danny got into a snit about him getting into a macho-protection-head-game trip now that he and Diane are doing it. She's not having it. He patronizingly agrees to stop being macho, for now. The clock ticks away on their relationship; I think it's at 14:59.

The formerly moody keyboard music uncloaks itself with a sampled scream, and the camera waves us around a New York City street at night. The mood is gritty -- perhaps too gritty. An ambulance rolls up, and then we're inside a hotel. The elevator doors open and out roll Ricky, Di, and Sip, looking, well, like three-day-old bagels. Tough, hardened. A hotel detective hollers, "Hey, Andy!" Like they're at a picnic, and they do a round of "how's it going," Sip commenting that he and hotel dick, who's name is Tommy, worked together "back when homicide raced chariots." Ha ha, the last time I heard that hoary old chestnut I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur and broke my stone underwear. Not. So Tommy leads the Blue squad down the hall towards a woman who was badly beaten, and they pass a group who look like rejects from the Crazy Girls! show at the Rivera, all beaded and feather-head-dressed and scantily clad. Sip looks -- hold on -- uncomfortable with this blatant display of revelry and extravagant costuming, and Tommy goes on to say that the hotel double-booked a Mardi Gras ball and the place is jammed. So, that's going on. Remember what Chekov said: If you see a Mardi Gras ball in the first act, it had better go off in the third. Your play, Mister Bochco. Di says, "Who's that?" and Tommy expositionally provides us with, "The victim's kid." The room looks disheveled; the pillow is almost completely covered in blood. A uniform tells the tale: the woman is there on a three-day "I Love New York" package; when the young daughter, adult brother, and the woman's friend came back from seeing Lion King, they found her beaten and bloody. Di suggests they shield the daughter from this horrific display, and Tommy says the hotel is "booked to capacity." Sip tells him to find a room and get the security tapes. Tommy is like, "This could be my job." Sip says, "It couldn't be any worse." Tommy skedaddles.

The brother comes over, arms folded, and says the dude that beat his sister had a court jester mask on, like in Mardi Gras? Don't they have a ball going on? Yeah, they do. Di goes to ask some questions. The woman, with a bashed-in face, says she has no clue what the race of her attacker could be, and that the worst part was being tied to the bed and knowing her daughter would see her like that. Hey, after Lion King, anything looks good. I KID, I'm a KIDDER. The woman starts to cry and says, "Please don't let my daughter see me like this," and we get the subway train bringing the credits.

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NYPD Blue

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