My So-Called Life
Guns And Gossip

Episode Report Card
Guns And Gossip

Props to Sars, and to Key Grip, who's already recapped episode 7. Dude, I'll get through these first six as fast as I can, I swear!

A grainy black-and-white image appears, slightly askew, on a TV screen. It's JFK (famous original JFK, not Jr.), and he's apparently giving his inaugural address: "I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people, or any other generation." Yada. The bald Hey! It's That Guy! Civics teacher is facing the class, but craning his neck around to watch the screen. As the camera starts to pan across the faces of his students -- who plainly don't give a shit about this particular Dead Kennedy -- AVO observes, "Grown-ups like to tell you where they were when President Kennedy was shot, which they all know to the exact second. Which makes me almost jealous -- like I should have something important enough to know where I was when it happened. But I don't, yet." The camera comes to rest on the eternally musing face of Angela "Losing" Chase. The Prez gets to the "ask not what your country blah di blah" part; a girl at the back of the class passes another a note, and they both glance at Angela. AVO adds, "And the fact that it was a better time then, and people knew what they were supposed to do and how to make the world nobody knows anything." The note makes its way through the class; each reader, in succession, looks at Angela, some snickering. There is a clap of thunder outside. AVO continues, "We know who's popular, or that Social Studies is boring, or that Brian always has stomach trouble --" and at this point Brian "Curly Sue" Krakow anxiously rises, takes a hall pass from the Baldo Civics, and purposefully trucks out of class -- "but nobody knows anything important."

In the hall, Brian trots toward the bathroom, but slows his pace at the sound of a struggle. At the end of the hall, we see Rickie "Teen Angel" Vasquez struggling with an unseen assailant. Brian ducks into the shitter.

Back in class, Kennedy is still yammering on like he's getting paid by the word, and AVO does likewise, having, by now, noticed the note's progress: "Instead of changing the world, people sit in class and write notes about other people." Rayanne "Secondhand Rose" Graff stops rooting through her bag long enough to take possession of the note, read it, and let out a stifled, and startled, guffaw. Angela mouths, "What?" and Rayanne passes the note to her. Angela unfolds the note and glances up as Kennedy intones, "Knowing that here on earth, God's work must truly be our own." Suddenly there is a gunshot. Everyone in class starts; a couple of people cry out in surprise.

Brian's head emerges from the bathroom; he sees a figure in a long green army jacket running up the hallway, followed by Rickie, who crosses the hall nearer Brian, briefly making eye contact, and hurrying on his way. Brian looks down the hall to see what appears to be cola streaming out of a locker door through a gunshot, uh, "wound," the gun itself lying on the floor below it. Brian slowly walks toward the gun as if he means to pick it up (stupid move) when all the classroom doors fly open and students flood into the halls, stopping short and leaving a good four feet's radius around the "crime scene." I hope Brian was successful in using the toilet, because he looks as if he might crap his pants. A girl (who, as Omar put it so many times, "happens to be black") emerges from the crowd and cries, "That's my soda!" She flings open her locker door and whines, "Gross!" Baldo Civics shoves his way through the mob, yelling at everyone to "get back" and "be quiet," and demands of Brian, "Did you see who it was?" Brian stares at everyone's aghast faces. "Did you?" Baldo asks again. Brian catches flies.

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My So-Called Life




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