My Own Worst Enemy

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Mindy Monez: B | Grade It Now!
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I'm OK, You're OK

Back in L.A., Henry and Raymond get into that elevator again, and Henry is shown into Alfre Woodard's office. He's asking a million questions about what's going on, who Edward is, etc. She explains that they used science (the explanation is literally about as technical as that) to create a split personality in Edward, who volunteered for the program, and that Henry was only created 19 years ago. Henry is even sadder than he was before. Commercials!

Alfre Woodard is showing Henry around Edward's sweet spy pad, because Henry's wife isn't expecting him until tomorrow. The loft is huge and minimalist, and clearly decorated with whatever the expensive version of Ikea is.

Nighttime in the spy pad. Henry calls his wife to confirm that the way they met did indeed happen. She confirms it did. He seems somewhat comforted by this, but now it's time to drink Edward's liquor and go through his stuff! Henry peruses Edward's anal-retentive closet full of black suits, proclaiming, "What a dick." Double hee. He gets a little drunker and decides to play Edward's piano and shout things from the show promos incoherently. He turns on Edward's massive projection screen TV to watch baseball (they both love baseball!), but accidentally opens up the secret spy closet hidden behind it. (Note to Edward: When trying to keep your spy shit secret, maybe you don't put the button that opens it on your TV remote.) Inside, Henry finds a bunch of guns and a box basically containing Edward's life story: his dog tags, newspaper clippings documenting his parents' tragic death in a car crash, his glorious high school football career, photos of him in what looks like Desert Storm, and The Medal of Honor. Henry is impressed and still completely freaked out. Then he spies Edward's car keys and is all like, "Let's roll!"

Henry starts speeding through the only-in-TV empty streets of L.A., when Edward shows up. It should be noted that Henry a second ago? Very drunk. Edward right now? Totally sober. C'mon now! They share the same circulatory system! [Maybe Edward has a higher tolerance? - Zach] Edward calls Alfre Woodard to ask what the hell is happening. She explains, and Edward decides to go to Henry's house for a little payback for the Camaro joyride. He wakes up Henry's wife and has some apparently very wild, and very superior-to-Henry's-performance-abilities sex with Henry's wife.

The next morning. Henry wakes up to an appreciatively elaborate breakfast prepared by his wife, and a handwritten note on his hand: "Don't touch my car! EVER!!!" Henry is pissed! "You bastard! You slept with my wife?!" Henry: Zero. Edward: Eleventy gazillion. I doubt that ratio will tip any time soon.

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My Own Worst Enemy

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