We Watches Some of the Watchmen Movie

by Zach Oat October 8, 2008
Watchmen First Look

Cut to a news program, where a John McLaughlin impersonator, doing his best Dana Carvey, is talking to Pat Buchanan and Eleanor Clift about Dr. Manhattan, the nuclear man, and what role he'll play in this whole situation. All of the actors, by the way, are lookalikes, with makeup. No digital insertions, or old doctored footage. We cut to the show's control room, where they're changing camera angles and watching the show on monitors. We see Blake's coffee table, which holds a pistol and a copy of Hustler magazine. Then, ominously, we're in the hallway of Blake's building, slowly tracking towards his door, which reads Room 3001. I'm assuming that means he's on the 30th floor (or the 29th, if there isn't a 13th floor). Man, I hope he doesn't get thrown out the window! That would be un... savory.

A perfume ad comes on, for Nostalgia by Veidt, with a plane doing loops in the sky over a mansion and a woman poolside. A handsome young man walks across the water towards her. Apparently, this perfume will attract Lords and saviors. Buy some, ladies! Just then, the door is kicked open. It's Jesus! No, it's some mysterious guy whose face we can't see because of all the backlighting, but we can tell he's wearing black leather gloves, tight-fitting black clothes and a knit hat. Blake says, "Just a matter of time, I suppose" -- this visit is not wholly unexpected. So he pours out his tea and hurls the mug at the intruder. The man ducks, and the mug knocks the "1" off of the door, leaving only "300"... which is, of course, the film that made this one possible. You go, Zack Snyder!

After a shot from Blake's pistol misses and kills the television set, the fight erupts, and no part of the apartment is left intact as these two seemingly unstoppable killing machines go at each other. I'm not sure how long Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" has been playing -- possibly since the perfume commercial started -- but it fits the fight, where the intruder tosses Blake around the room like a ballerina. After slamming him into the Silk Spectre pinup, smashing the glass, the intruder puts Blake through his own coffee table, then lofts him onto the kitchen table across the room, smashing that, too. Damn this Ikea furniture! In the kitchen, Blake starts throwing knives, but the intruder dodges one and catches the next one, a meat cleaver. Blake draws a third and parries with it, as blows are thrown and blocked, but the intruder ultimately gets the better of him, smashing him through the kitchen counter. As he holds Blake by the collar -- in a shot straight out of the comic book -- Blake croaks, "It's all a joke," and some blood drips off the side of his face onto his pin. (If he didn't have any comic-accurate facial scarring before this fight, which I'm not sure he did, he does now.) Then it's out the window and down 30 (29?) stories he goes. We don't see the impact, as we stay on the bloody pin, but we see the pin bounce on the sidewalk a few times before zooming in and watching a pool of blood spread around it. Again, straight out of the comic book.

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