Mission: Man Band

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These Aren't The Boys You're Looking For

Executive 1: Well, guys, I called you here because I just rented Music And Lyrics --

Executive 2: And?! Didn't you love it?

Executive 3: How did Drew look? How was her lisp? What about Brad Garrett? Wait, don't spoil me!

2: It's been out for months. It's your responsibility to stay informed!

1: The movie was fine, but more importantly, it gave me an idea. The plot is that there's this sort of washed-up former pop star -- like the other guy from Wham!--

2: Matthew Ridgeford.

3: I think it was Rudge Curlew.

1: His name is not the point.

2: Dude, we would so be out if this was The World Series Of Pop Culture.

3: Man, it really sucks that we can't enter, because the other night I thought of the most awesome team name for us.

2: Tell me.

3: The Boys Meet World!

2: Wow, that is good.

1: Guys.

3: Sorry.

1: So the movie got me thinking -- there were so many boy bands in the '90s that now there are literally thousands of Andy Digglers out there, and--

2: Ugh, when you say it like that, it's like I can feel them on me.

3: Vermin!

1: They are, and this brings me to my point, which is what can we do with these guys?

2: Welfare?

3: Extraordinary renditions?

2: Harvested for their organs?

3: Oh! Some kind of camps?

1: All excellent suggestions, but in the meantime, I was thinking maybe we could give some of them another chance at fame.

2: Oh my God, how in the world would we do that?!

1: By putting them in a reality show.

3: Ohhhhhh.

2: So it's not a chance at fame. It's a chance at "fame."

3: Am I supposed to hear quotation marks?

2: You can also look at me when I'm talking, instead of staring out the window, and see the air quotes. It's called common courtesy.

3: I thought I saw Spider-Man!

1: Guys!

2: We're very serious.

3: Reality show.

1: We round up some ex-boy banders. We throw 'em in a house, because that's what we do. And we give them some kind of bullshit "goal"--

3: I note the air quotes!

1: Cutting a single or something.

2: It'll be our generation's "Super Bowl Shuffle"!

3: That was so much cooler than "We Are The World."

1: So which ex-boy banders do we want to line up for this thing?

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Mission: Man Band




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