Masters of Sex
Standard Deviation

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 39 USERS: A
Roughing It
Gini: "Whatever that means, I will do it. I feel like in the long run you are going to pay for this bullshit."

Betty: "Speaking of your mind-blowing self-absorption, my tubes are still tied."
Bill: "I know, and I still feel like that's about me. I already gave you a job here."
Betty: "I know but I also want to have babies with the Pretzel King."
Bill: "Another thing that falls under my jurisdiction is whether or not the Pretzel King even exists."
Betty: "That doesn't sound right to me."
Bill: "Well, if you made him up then you really shouldn't be in charge of your uterus."

Bill: "I simply refuse to be drawn into your peculiar fantasy life..."
Betty: "Argh! Coming from the superfreak that likes wiring up hookers to electric dildos like some kind of Cronenberg porno."
Bill: "Uh, that is for science."
Betty: "Sure it is, bitch. Now you best operate, or I will blow your life one thousand miles into the air like Wile E. Coyote, who was just recently invented."

Chuck Jones invented him from a description in Mark Twain's Roughing It, the Coyote as a "long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton... A living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry."


Gini sets up a deli-style number system so the ladies can come into a room off the parlor one at a time and masturbate. A john (desperate and degenerate, a sorry-looking sweaty skeleton) remarks without prelude that Virginia probably tastes "just like orange sherbet." Of the many alarming things you might hear at work, if your job was hooking hookers up to wires and making them masturbate, it's also quite evocative. Something of a poet, I suppose.

First up is Maureen, the super-crazy awesome one, who tells them to count the rings on her hoo-ha since she doesn't remember how old she is. We run into a lot of problems with the standard questionnaire, but at no point does Bill think about changing the questions to suit reality at all.

Bill: "Are you sexually active?"
Maureen: "Is this dude okay?"
Gini: "They're just dumb questions, sorry."
Maureen: "I am sexually active. Next you're going to ask if I'm married?"
Bill: "Whoa! That is totally the next question."
Maureen: "Twist, I am totally married."
Bill: "This is really a fruitful exercise, I had no idea."

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Masters of Sex




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