Mad Men

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 2 USERS: A+
You May Not Like Pete...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We start in a doctor's office, and we pan across to see Pete and Trudy looking somewhat uncomfortable. A man in his late fifties or so enters and introduces himself as "Dr. Stone," and Trudy eagerly explains that her friend's father is Head of Obstetrics at Lenox Hill, and the father said Dr. Stone gets results. Dr. Stone demurs: "They got results. Sometimes all a young couple needs is a good old-fashioned hand holding." I think it's going to take more than that in this case, but as a start I suppose it can't hurt. Dr. Stone declares his intention to ask them some questions both together and separately, and then ascertains that they've been trying to conceive for eighteen months. He asks if they're aware of the principles of conception, and Trudy smiles in embarrassment while Pete says yes. "Although, if you'd like to show us some films..." This is the first demonstration of a mathematical equation that goes, "Pete Campbell + Conception Hijinx = HILARITY." There will be many more such demonstrations as the hour goes on, which may sound like overkill but really, really isn't. Trudy then mentions that before they started trying, she was using a diaphragm. "Although it's possible I didn't need to." Aw, it's sad, if consistent, that Trudy, one of the most decent people on the show, is being denied her most fervent and desperate wish. And you can't even bright-side it by saying this is the universe not wanting Pete to reproduce.

Freddy is telling Don some off-color joke as they walk into SC, and then they hear some loud female squealing nearby. Freddy: "Sounds like a visit from the stork, or De Beers...or it could just be a new hairdo." That was a lot funnier than his joke, I'll give him that. Anyway, it's Door Number Two, as a beaming Joan emerges and flashes her ring finger as she bids them both good morning. Aw. It's nice to see Joan acting like a girl, considering she's more man than most of the office put together.

Pete's alone with Dr. Stone now, and is fielding some questions about his medical history. When Dr. Stone asks if his testicles descended normally, Pete's response is, "Absolutely!" Hee. I can't begin to do justice to the delivery there, but it's like he thinks the descent of his balls is the standard to which every man should aspire. He goes on to tell the doc that he's never fathered a child, and I'm looking forward to him finding out not only that that's not true but that the mother went temporarily insane as the result of his progeny. Upon being asked if he ever has trouble "completing the sexual act," Pete gives the idea some thought, and replies, "Drinking doesn't help. But no! I always reach home base." Pete eventually gets irritated with all the questions, so the doc assures him that fertility has nothing to do with manliness. Dr. Stone then asks if Pete wants to have a child, and Pete defensively says that he does, of course -- but then again, with the world in the state it's in...Dr. Stone refrains from pointing out that that's basically a "no" in favor of talking about Pete's line of work, which he opines must be fun, to which Pete scoffs in response. "I'm an account man. I spend half my day tiptoeing around Creative crybabies and the other half drinking with ungrateful turnips who just fell off the truck." I'm not entirely sure what an ungrateful turnip is, but it's not going to stop me from using the term from here on out. He goes on to complain about the economy, his inlaws, and "this baby thing," and he's certainly sounding crotchety enough that I'm surprised he still makes it all around the bases every single time. He mentions that it's been "a few months" since his father passed on, and Dr. Stone sympathizes, but offers that we're all part of a continuum. Pete replies, "So maybe I'm the end of the line." This hangs in the air for a moment, and then Dr. Stone tells him they're done, and asks him to send Trudy in and also to schedule an appointment with the nurse for a semen analysis. Pete chuckles: "Whenever she's free!" Dr. Stone's face: "If I had a nickel..."

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