Mad Men
Man With A Plan

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 11 USERS: C+
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Mergers And Yak-Quisitions

Sylvia gets a call from Don, and she asks him if he's on his way. In response, he puts on that voice that's going for "sexy command" but in reality sounds kind of like that high-school kid on Seinfeld who gave Elaine all the video recommendations. He tells her she's going to wait there, and she won't know when he's coming back, to which she asks what's gotten into him. My answer would be a Smurf, but he merely tells her not to answer the phone again, and then he shows how good he is at this game by calling back LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY, like, way to test her resolve there, guy. Like I said, I have no problem with this subject matter; it just pains me to watch someone be so bad at it. Sylvia doesn't share my opinion, though, as her WTF expression turns to one of girlish glee as she slides down under the covers, and then she touches herself to the ringing phone. His work here done, Don picks up a bottle from his bar...

...and then Ted gets a buzz that Don's there for him. He enters with the bottle and two glasses, proclaiming them an "olive branch," and given what it's going to do to Ted, he might as well just hit him in the face with it right now. Ted doesn't move, but Don pours the drinks anyway and says he thought they should discuss margarine alone. He then gets all swaggery about how quickly he can drink, and tells Ted that of course he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, but after Ted does his best, downing an evening's worth of booze in about ten seconds, Don asks if Ted wants to show him his notes. Ted: "It took forty minutes to figure out no one knows shit about margarine." This elicits a genuine laugh, and the tension fades as they get to work. Of course, Don declares his intention to drink more, and that's not normally news but he's making a point.

Pete arrives home to find Bud, and the fact that he's got a drink in his hand but still hasn't taken off his overcoat should tell Pete where this is going. Pete asks where Dot is, hearing this in response: "She spent twenty-five minutes looking for a dish for the nuts, and then she went into the bathroom. Good luck!" Hee. Pete tries to tell Bud that he's got to be the one to take her, as his office situation is a shitshow at the moment, but Bud's like oh, yes, the merger -- that's the one you went to a competitor of my company's to underwrite, correct? "I caught a shovelful for that, Pete. I got to pretend to my partners that you don't believe in nepotism." Pete, however, is too concerned with the fact that he had NO CHAIR at the meeting to pay attention to much else, as he thinks it signals him being phased out. Bud tells Pete to calm down -- he has a long drive home. So, he and the rest of Pete's family are still unaware of the rift with Trudy. This is surprising, but given the explosion of boxes over at SCDP, it can't have been that long since the last episode. Bud adds that even Dot's cleaning woman quit, as Dot "cut all ties" and now the whole place smells like a rabbit warren. Yikes. I had friends when I was younger who had just one rabbit and the smell was overwhelming; can't blame anyone for crying hostile work environment here. Bud adds that Judy has been finished with Dot ever since she snapped her with a tea towel across the face (don't condone the action, but the mental image is kind of hilarious), and adds that maybe they can get the paperwork started to have her committed, but in the meantime, it's Pete's turn. Out of arguments, Pete lets Bud go, and then Dot appears, dressed to go out but with her mind all over the place. Pete informs her she'll be spending the night, and she can have the bed, but Dot tells him she never sleeps. Well, that explains quite a bit, although I'm not sure how Pete's dad got away with so many affairs in that case. She then holds out a bone-dry glass and asks him to "freshen" it, and he looks at her like she's a use for margarine. Well, if the French Army is, why can't she be?

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