Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Check The Expiration Date!

Locke and Ben are filling canteens in a stream in preparation for their trip. Ben finds it necessary to blurt, "You know you didn't have to beat Mikhail senseless to make your point, John." Locke looks calmly at Ben and replies, "Yes I did." This witty repartee is interrupted by they arrival of Alex, who hands Locke a gun, informing him that if he is going to visit Jacob he will need it. Locke looks surprised but accepts it. Alex then looks right at Ben and says, "Happy Birthday, Dad." Ben contemplates the possibility of bringing Dr. Phil to the Island to deal with his teenage daughter for him, realizes he would have to bring Dr. Phil's annoying wife, too, gives up the thought, and sighs heavily.

Young Ben looks extremely interested in a chemistry lesson that Samantha Mathis is teaching. Either that, or he's pondering just how she manages to make a khaki jumpsuit look so good? That should be the lesson. Especially since her whole baking soda + water = explosion hypothesis is completely...how do I put this? Wrong. Annie, the little cutie, asks, "Is that what happened to the volcano on this Island?" Samantha Mathis replies, "Yes, Annie, but that was a long time ago." Teachers say the darndest things! The lesson is cut short when an alarm goes off. Samantha Mathis grabs a rifle and stations herself at the door while the kids all hunker under their desks. All the kids, that is, except Young Ben who just looks bewildered. Annie grabs him and explains that it's just the hostiles. Later, Young Ben is relaxing on his bed with his bunny (that's not a euphemism) when he hears his father arguing with Horace. Roger and his bad attitude are yelling that he was on a run and the next thing he knew there was a giant explosion. Horace explains that they are having some skirmishes with the natives. What natives? They're not really sure. Roger says that if he is going to get shot, he wants hazard pay of another 30 grand and, no, his son's free high-quality education doesn't cut it. As Roger shouts at Horace to get the hell out of his house, Young Ben jumps back into his room just in time to see the ghost of his dead mother in his window. He is so startled he knocks over a Saarinen Tulip Chair (those Dharma people sure have fancy taste!) and alerts his father to his eavesdropping. In a scene straight out of Bad Dad part XXVII, Roger bursts in the room and tells him to go to bed not noticing the lone tear winding down his prepubescent cheek.

Sawyer and Sayid are looking for Juliet when Kate interrupts them to be a bitch. Seriously. There is no other reason. She walks up, crosses her arms, juts out her hip, and informs them that Juliet isn't there. She and Jack left right after Kate told them about Naomi. Sayid looks murderous but calm, and if I were Kate I would be a bit scared. He asks Kate why she would have told Jack about Naomi. She says it's because Naomi is hurt, and Jack is a doctor, and he has a right to know. And Kate sucks. Bad. Sayid asks where Jack is now, and Kate says she doesn't know. Sayid snarks, "Of course you don't, Kate" and brushes past her. Sawyer asks who Naomi is, and Kate yells after Sayid that maybe he should tell everyone about Naomi. Sayid points at Sawyer and yells, "Play her the tape!" as he rushes away presumably to go kick some Jack ass.

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