Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Dear Diary: Aaaaiiiieeeee!

Walt's wandering through the jungle, with Vincent. And, as usually happens on this show when someone's wandering through the jungle alone, something roars. Vincent starts barking, and Walt looks around for the source. He doesn't see anything, but Vincent suddenly starts going crazy, barking and straining at his leash. Vincent breaks free and rockets through the jungle, Walt chasing after him, dropping his dog's leash. And, interestingly, we get a flashback from another character's perspective.

Walt's staring at Vincent the shifty-eyed dog, while his mom prattles on about some case she's working on and gloating about how her opponent figures that just because she's new to Australian law, she's some kind of yokel. I thought yokels were local? Anyway, they've moved to Australia. Bryan can't hold a job? Susan spots Walt daydreaming and tells him to get cracking on his homework. "I told you I needed help," he says. "He needs help," says Bryan, like I guess that would be the little wifey's responsibility, Mr. Man? "I'm a lawyer, sweetheart. I can tell when someone's stalling," she tells Walt. Walt then launches into a mini-tirade about the pointlessness of learning about Australian birds when they're actually in Australia. Meanwhile, Bryan's concerned with Susan, who doesn't feel well, and hasn't been getting enough sleep, and feels a little flu-ey, and all this time Walt does not shut up about the damn birds, and informs Susan and Bryan, who aren't even listening, that he's picked the bronze cuckoo (which he pronounces co-hoo-koo), and then he gets annoyed that they're not looking. "You're not looking!" he whines, a few times. And then, thud, from the glass door to the porch. The three of them walk over, and there, lying dead on the deck, is a bird. I'm no orthonotician or anything, but I'm guessing that's a bronze cuckoo. "Is it dead?" says Walt. "Yeah. Poor guy," says Bryan, who then turns his head to stare at Walt with a mixture of fear and amazement. Walt nonchalantly goes back to his bird book, and Bryan continues to stare.

Back in the jungle, Walt is still yelling for Vincent. But the rustling and the growling that we're hearing? That ain't Vincent. And since we've all seen the previews and/or commercials and know that Walt gets attacked by a polar bear, going to commercial right now is really irritating.

Mercutio answers the knocking at his door to find Bryan, who introduces himself. "Susan's Bryan?" says Mercutio, his eyes narrowing. Yep. "Can I come in? I need to talk to you," he says. "Susan know you're here, man?" says Mercutio. "Susan died yesterday," says Bryan. Mercutio lets him in to the apartment, and Bryan explains (or vaguely alludes to, anyway) Susan dying of a "blood disorder" and she was only sick for a week before she died. Mercutio's flustered, but asks how Walt's doing. Bryan says Walt's fine, and then amends that to Walt's fine, considering. Mercutio just can't believe Bryan left Walt back home after he just lost his mother. Bryan changes the subject, and says before she died, Susan said she wanted Mercutio to have custody of Walt, what with him being his father and everything. Mercutio's really taken aback by this, and points out that he hasn't been Walt's father for nine years. Bryan gets all shifty and is all, "Yeah, see, the thing about that is..." and launches into this weaselly tirade about how he loved Susan but was honest with her from the beginning, in that he didn't want children. "What are you talking about, man? You adopted him!" yells Mercutio. He appears less than understanding. Bryan's got two plane tickets, as well as money for travelling expenses. But Mercutio's figured something else out for himself: that giving custody of Walt back to Mercutio wasn't Susan's idea, that this was all Bryan. And Bryan whines a whole lot about being a wreck and losing the woman he loves, and blah blah blah poor, poor pitiful me. Mercutio calls him a son of a bitch and throws him against the wall. "It's more than that!" yells Bryan. "There's something about him!" Mercutio wants to know what he's talking about, and all Bryan offers is a vague "sometimes when he's around, things happen. He's different somehow."

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