Episode Report Card
Daniel: B | Grade It Now!
Dear Diary: Aaaaiiiieeeee!

Apparently Charlie has lost the battle of his conscience and is unabashedly reading Claire's diary. She seems to have listed things that she misses, stuff that I guess Charlie hasn't had time to pantomime so she doesn't miss them anymore. And she's written a bunch of things about Charlie too, like "makes me feel safe" and "adorable" and "not the kind of guy who would read my diary" and "why do all the LOTR actors get screwed at the Oscars every year?" Personally, I'm disappointed the final entry doesn't consist of: "Dear Diary: Today I talked to Charlie. Hey, what's that noise? Who are you? Aaaaiiiiieeee!!!!" with a long jagged mark trailing off the page. Something catches Charlie's eye, and he scoots off to find Jack, who's sitting by a fire with Sayid. Charlie gets past the initial awkwardness of admitting that he's read Claire's diary ("yeah, I'm bloody scum") as he tells them that she's written of a recurring dream about a black rock: "I try to leave it but it won't let me." Jack's blowing it off as just a dream, but Sayid says "the Frenchwoman" said something about her team returning from the black rock. They put two and two together and speculate that the triangle on the map might be the black rock, and might also be where Claire is. There's a few leaps of logic there, but Charlie's all gung-ho to look for her right now. "Charlie, we all want to find Claire," says Jack, in one of the more unintentionally hilarious lines of the season. He says it makes no sense to go after her in the middle of the night. Or during the day, or in the morning, or at all...

Boone and Locke are wandering through the woods, with Locke blowing what appears to be a dog whistle. Boone says the whistle doesn't appear to work, because he is apparently the only one in the world who doesn't know that dog whistles are inaudible to human ears. "You can't hear everything, Boone," says Locke. "The sooner you learn that, the better," he adds, whatever that's supposed to mean. So they hear this rustling in the bushes, and...

Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that no one's looking for Claire, that Boone and Locke even just pretended to look for her, and no one's going to not even now that they have a possible location, but Vincent goes missing and Boone and Locke immediately start searching (even though, as Locke himself pointed out, Vincent found his way back once and likely will again)? Are you fucking kidding me? You bastards all deserve to stay stranded forever.

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